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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Bianca_Mae Offline
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Unhappy I feel guilty - June 17th 2017, 03:30 AM

I'm sorry if this seems like I am wasting you're time, I know people are in worse situations than I am in.

But today in school, my friend M git really offended by the fact that I have other friends. The truth is that I have been trying to get away from my current group of friends, it is seriously bad for my health, since they've been the reasoning for my self harm in many occasions.

My friend C, has known about my self harm for months and he was talking to me this morning in school, after a vague text saying, 'I'm sorry, I tried' and he came over to see what was wrong. My friends M was there and I told him not to ask, since they aren't aware of my self harm habits. Three periods later, he asked me what this morning was about, he said he feels like I am drifting away from them and keeping secrets with my new friends. I know I shouldn't feel guilty because its really none of his business, but at the same time, i do. But I can't stay close to them if they make me harm myself, but at the same time, he's the only one in my friend group I'm scared of losing. I don't know what to do...

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Re: I feel guilty - June 17th 2017, 02:02 PM

You're not wasting anyone's time. It's hard but try not to compare yourself to others; you can't get a fair comparison to other people and comparing yourself could be damaging.

If this group of friends is triggering to you it is good that you are trying to distance yourself from them. Did you say that M is the friend you don't want to lose from this group? If so, maybe you could pull him aside and let him know that you're going through some things (you don't have to elaborate).

If you don't want to lose M, you could let him know that new friendships don't replace what the two of you have and that even though you may be distant from everyone else, you still want to remain friends with him.

You said you asked M not to ask because he doesn't know about the self-harm. You didn't omit anything with malicious intent; you did it to protect yourself. Sometimes you have to omit things to protect yourself but that doesn't warrant guilt.

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