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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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I'm not sure what to do? - July 22nd 2017, 11:57 PM

My parents and sister have been fighting a lot the last week and I don't know what to do. The yelling is getting crazy, my parents want me to be with them and my sister says we're sisters and I need to be with her. I don't know who to pick. Why do I have to pick a side. I wish this wasn't happening. I need the fighting and yelling to stop. What do I do?
   
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Re: I'm not sure what to do? - July 24th 2017, 07:14 AM

Hey London,

I'm sorry to hear that your parents and sister are putting you in the middle of their argument. That isn't fair to you at all and I can understand how difficult it must be for you.

Would it be possible for you to sit your parents and sister down to talk about this? If you don't think you'll be able to get all three of them to sit down together, you can always have two separate conversations - one with your parents and one with your sister. During the conversation(s), let them know that, while you recognize that they are having issues with one another right now, their fight isn't something that includes you. Make it clear that you love all of them equally and will not be picking a side. If you're comfortable with it, you can also tell them that you would be happy to listen if anyone needs to vent, but that they need to understand and respect the fact that nothing said will change your views on anyone involved.

Perhaps you can try to set up a schedule with your parents and your sister to help them feel like they are each getting quality time with you. For example, you could offer to help your parents cook dinner one night a week and watch a movie with them after dinner, while reserving a weekend day to spend time having fun with your sister. While having to create a schedule to spend time with individual members of your family might not be the ideal situation, it might help lessen the tension that you feel, as your family is less likely to feel like you're choosing one side over the other.

I hope your parents and sister are able to resolve their argument soon and that things return to normal!

Take care,
Sammi


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
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Re: I'm not sure what to do? - July 25th 2017, 04:21 PM

Thank you. I'm going to try to talk with my parents and sister when they are not fighting. I hope it stops soon.
   
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Re: I'm not sure what to do? - July 25th 2017, 06:41 PM

I'm sorry your parents and sister are forcing you to choose a side. It's almost as bad as two individual parent forcing their child(ren) to choose between them. Perhaps you can write your parents and sister a letter, sit them down, and hand them each a copy. Just talk until your throat runs raw, because this is clearly bothering you and you need to tell them this. You can even suggest healthier alternatives, whatever will work for your family. Best of luck, don't hesitate to reach out again and update us if you want/need to.
   
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Re: I'm not sure what to do? - July 29th 2017, 12:13 PM

My parents and sister have finally stopped fighting. I tried talking to my sister and that didn't work, so I talked to my mom about it. Thank you for your help. I just hope hope it stays like this, everything ok.
   
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