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Kate and Rick Offline
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Red face Is this normal? - August 16th 2017, 04:18 AM

We both have a favorite child.
Kate: Hanna (10) is my favorite. She's not a little kid who can't do anything, but she's not a mouthy brat like JoJo (11).
Rick: Kyra (9) is my favorite. She's the one I buy a huge bag of cheese puffs for. She's the one I give the nice sandwich to. She's WAY cuter than JoJo and Hanna. I got her an iPod the other day.
Kyra is like .
Hanna is like .
JoJo is like .
Yay favoritism!
   
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Re: Is this normal? - August 18th 2017, 12:08 PM

I don't have children of my own and I do not know a lot about raising them so I cannot say if this is normal or not. However, saying "Yay favoritism" as you did may not be typical thinking. Perhaps you can strive to put your feelings aside and treat each child as equally as possible.


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Re: Is this normal? - August 18th 2017, 01:30 PM

Personally, I don't think you should favor one of your children over any other. Each child is a unique individual who brings something different to your life. Accommodate your interaction to fit the needs and personality of that child, but don't treat them any less or more than the others because you like how they are or dislike how they are. They are just children, their personalities and individuality are still developing and will continue to well into their early 20s.
   
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Re: Is this normal? - August 18th 2017, 04:46 PM

No, it is not 'normal'. If you talk to parents they will say that they don't have any favorites but they do have different relationships with each of their children because each child is unique.

That being said, there are a lot of parents who do favor one of their children. This is unfortunate because both the favored child and the unfavored child suffer. The favored child, at least in the families that I know, ends up growing up to be entitled and the child that was not favored ends up dealing with a lot of issues and sadness associated to the neglect they experienced.

So, in the best interest of your children you shouldn't favor one over the other. However, if you can't help but favor one than you should try not to make it obvious.


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Re: Is this normal? - August 25th 2017, 08:03 AM

@Kate: I don't think referring to your youngest as, "a little kid who can't do anything", or your oldest as, " a mouthy brat", is very nice.
First of all, Kyra is only a year younger than Hanna.
Second, there are things she can do. At 9, kids can do many things.
Third, your oldest is not a "brat". Sure, she may talk back or be rude sometimes, like all 11 year olds, (I know from experience, I am one) but there are also times when she can be cuddly, and sweet, and wonderful.
@Rick: If you give Kyra the " special treatment" (esp: buying her a large amount of cheese puffs while the others get small, giving her an iPod for no reason, packing her the nicest sandwich) then her sisters may grow to resent her.
I do not know if this is "normal" because I am only 11, but it sounds wrong.
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