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~anongirl~ Offline
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Being sensitive/victimizing myself - August 31st 2017, 01:57 AM

So I've gone through years of verbal abuse at home. I also developed severe anxiety and depression as a result of my situation at home and also because of my school life (I'm really struggling at school with my anxiety).

My family has had a pretty backwards way of thinking when it comes to mental health. We are not american (immigrants from another country), and in their culture mental health is a taboo and looked down upon. Where we are originally from, it is hard for people to get the help they need with these issues and people view this topic as a huge embarrassment.

Obviously with severe anxiety and depression, theres gonna be certain behaviors I exhibit in public without intending to as a result of these mental illnesses, so my family basically views me as a shame. This made me even more depressed and I resorted to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as cutting.

As a result of all of this, I felt like I had no one to talk to/turn to when I needed someone. So I developed the habit of venting to my friends. At first, it was pretty normal -- the usual rants you have with your friends once in a while. But then it progressed and without realizing it, I rant and vent about my problems to my friends ALLLL the time. I literally didn't even realize how much I did it, but a few times my sister has gone out with me and my friends when we'd go out, and after they left and we go back home she tells me, "Wow, I didn't realize you rant that much. Do you always open up to people that easily?"

She said she's noticed this countless times when I am with friends. My mom has also overheard some conversations I've had with friends when they come over to our house, and she says the same thing. She says I'm overly sensitive and always victimize myself when the smallest stuff happens. I really dont mean to be so hypersensitive...its just part of my personality I guess. I'm really trying to change that.

(I'm extremely depressed right now because I am really struggling at school with the anxiety and constant panic, its hard to make friends because I'm really quiet and shy and people think I'm a loser and a freak. Anxiety makes me overthink things and as a result I've become severely socially awkward, and I am known at school to be that one awkward kid...)


Anyways, I think my friends are starting to get annoyed with all my ranting sessions and all, but they try to be nice. However one of my friends says I'm very sensitive and overdramatic about things.

Its quite humiliating knowing I'm that one person everyone thinks is trying to get attention/trying to get people to pity her. Right now I am trying to fix this problem of exposing my issues too much to people by keeping it in. I cry a lot when I'm alone cuz I'm really depressed and keep everything inside.
   
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Re: Being sensitive/victimizing myself - September 3rd 2017, 01:48 PM

Thanks for sharing with us. Apologies for the late reply.

Being sensitive is not a bad thing even though many people think it is. The term "sensitive" has negative connotations unfortunately. Another way to look at it, if you wish, is emotionally intelligent, perceptive, or intuitive. Looking at it differently could help improve how you feel a little bit. Being "sensitive" is not bad but it can be difficult. It just means that you really care about things.

Even though some of your friends could feel annoyed by your ranting, venting to someone is a good idea. Do you think you could talk to someone at school, like a teacher or a school counselor, or someone you trust who may be able to put you in the right direction? You may be able to talk about your anxiety and depression and try coping skills but sometimes just talking about it does a lot.

If you can't talk to anyone right away, try writing about your feelings. You could blog here on TeenHelp, or write your feelings in a journal. Even if you're not directly sharing your feelings with someone, readers do interact with blog posts and writing things out could be therapeutic for you.


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Re: Being sensitive/victimizing myself - September 4th 2017, 07:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassado View Post
Thanks for sharing with us. Apologies for the late reply.

Being sensitive is not a bad thing even though many people think it is. The term "sensitive" has negative connotations unfortunately. Another way to look at it, if you wish, is emotionally intelligent, perceptive, or intuitive. Looking at it differently could help improve how you feel a little bit. Being "sensitive" is not bad but it can be difficult. It just means that you really care about things.

Even though some of your friends could feel annoyed by your ranting, venting to someone is a good idea. Do you think you could talk to someone at school, like a teacher or a school counselor, or someone you trust who may be able to put you in the right direction? You may be able to talk about your anxiety and depression and try coping skills but sometimes just talking about it does a lot.

If you can't talk to anyone right away, try writing about your feelings. You could blog here on TeenHelp, or write your feelings in a journal. Even if you're not directly sharing your feelings with someone, readers do interact with blog posts and writing things out could be therapeutic for you.
Thank you so much. I'm really trying to not rant too much so when something bad happens to me, I try not to tell others about it. When I'm alone I cry it all out and then pretend nothing happened in front of other people.
I really want to talk to my school counselor, but how do I bring it up? It feels awkward just going to the office and telling them "hey I have a problem and i feel depressed about it can i talk to you?"
Like how do I go to them and tell them I need to talk to them, how should I say it so that it doesn't sound weird or awkward??
   
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Re: Being sensitive/victimizing myself - September 6th 2017, 11:39 PM

Crying can definitely be a therapeutic outlet but it can also be important to share your feelings with other people as well. Maybe you can go into the office initially and ask if there's a time you can talk to them. From there, you can work on what you want to say during your appointment.

You could start out by saying something like, "I feel depressed sometimes and was wondering if you could help me find some different coping skills" and go from there. Some people have sessions with a school counselor once a week or so and that could be worth looking into as well.

If you don't know what to say or don't want to verbalize it, you could write a note that explains some of how you're feeling.That way, your counselor can bring it up and it could be easier if you don't have to initiate.


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The mountains are calling and I must go.
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