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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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MandaPanda Offline
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Name: Amandaa
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just as things started to get better.. - May 25th 2009, 08:06 PM

okay so this year has been FULL of drama. It first started off with me ending it with my ex-best friend, and then just other little things. Either way this lasted from the beginning of the school year until about march or april.

So nowwwww, just as things were going great for me, I feel that me and my current bestfriend are seperating now. Not for any particular reason, just cause. I know it's normal for that to happen but it would be a shame if we did seperate because we clicked immediately. But the thing is.. i can't bring myself to talk to her about it. i don't know why, I reallllllyyy just can't do it. I think maybe it's becuase she can be quite mean to me sometimes, when shes pissed off or something like that. She's had major friendship problems in the past, as I have, but I think it's had a bigger impact on her than it has on me. I even remember her telling me once that "this year for friends has been too good to be true.. I can never keep a friend" or something along the lines of this.

She seemed a bit mad today, I hadn't talked to her all weekend, I don't know if that had something to do with it but either way she seemed mad about something. Only towards me, too. Afterwards she seemed a bit better, but still put-off, but I just left it cause I know from experience that if I try to force it out of her that just makes her even more mad and yea.. She didn't even come to our locker today (we share one) and she always does, but today I'm guessing she just went right home. She didn't call me or anything, either.

My mom thinks that maybe she knows we're seperating, too.. maybe shes even trying to make it a bit easier :/ i don't know. But I have been hanging out with a bunch of different people that I met this year, too. They're all SOOO nice and fun, but, of course, my 'best friend' doesn't like them and thinks that theyre all "SOOO stupid and immature!" (which were her exact words) The thing is.. she doenst know them at ALLL! Thats another thing about her, she thinks she knows everything about everyone, even though she doesnt know them at all.

I just need advice on whether to leave it.. or... I don't even know. But with... what... 15 days until exams start, I'm wondering if there's even a point in talking to her because I know for a fact that chances are we were going to seperate during the summer anyways. I think she's going on vacation, and I'm going to try and get up north to my cottage as much as possible cause I dont spend a lot of time up there. I also want to hang out with all the new friends I've made this year.

But yea like I said, I just need to know if leaving it, and just seeing how things play out is the right thing to do? What do you think?

Oh and another thing that's making me a bit nervous is that my bestfriend now, and my ex bestfriend are still friends :/ I have NO idea why, but I'm just a bit nervous that if me and my current bestfriend do seperate, that she'll go to my ex-bestfriend and say "oh you were right about her blah blah" which isnt true at all (my ex-bestfriend talks about me, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about when it comes to this)
Advicee?
   
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flawed_legacy Offline
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Re: just as things started to get better.. - May 29th 2009, 03:04 AM

Friendship are important. If you have one or two good friends then you are doing okay! (Personally I'm doing kinda bad, haha!)

I think you need to attempt to fix this friendship. From what I see in your post is that this friendship is important for the both of you! Personally, I think the issue is jealously and horrible communication. Maybe your friend feels that she's lost you because you've made some new friends. She may feel like she's second fiddle; (I play second violin in the orchestra... The firsts annoy the hell out of me!).

I think you need to talk to her. She's obviously upset with something. And the fact that you haven't made any effort to communicate your concerns to her probably upsets her even more. You are gonna have to talk to her, there's really nothing else you can do but talk to her. I'm currently trying to repair a friendship (been trying for ages) and we are both afraid to say 'hi' to the other... He will rarely initiate a conversation with me so most of the time I think he hates me, however he'll tell just the opposite when I make the effort to talk to him. Because we don't talk to each other we are forced to "read" each other. Since humans are all different, reading someone requires a gift not very many people have... We often get angry and frustrated because we don't communicate... This very thing might be what's happening to your friendship... COMMUNICATION IT CRUCIAL!!!

You can still talk during the summer to stay connected... Phones were invented so people could talk to each other without being in the same room! Take advantage of them!
   
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SaraCroft Offline
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Re: just as things started to get better.. - June 1st 2009, 12:30 AM

I think you need to think about what would make you happy. Try not to think about others for a second, be selfish. Friendships are very vital. If you still want to be her friend afterwards, then it will work. You need to talk to her. Communication is extremely important in any relationship. Don't think about the consequences (she'll be mad at you, so on) It seems you really care for her, take the risk. If she get's mad at you, or doesn't want to be your friend anymore, then she wasn't a true friend in the first place. So, talk to her. You will feel much better.
   
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