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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Sands254 Offline
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Is this good to think this way? - October 6th 2017, 11:07 AM

Hi everyone!

So my parents are getting separated and instead of being sad and worried about it, I'm actually glad. I'm just thinking that the regular fights will be over. Is this good of me to think so?
   
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Re: Is this good to think this way? - October 6th 2017, 12:18 PM

Hey,

There's no right or wrong way to feel about your parent's separation. It is understandable to feel glad because their arguments must have been difficult for you to be around. It would also be understandable if you felt sad, or if your feelings about it changed for a while.

Although many people do feel sad and worried about their parents separating, people also feel happy or relieved about it and it is okay to feel what you're feeling about it. If you feel happy about your parent's separation then perhaps it is good to think or feel that way.


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Re: Is this good to think this way? - October 6th 2017, 12:53 PM

Hello,

When you're parents have been fighting for so long you and if you have siblings it's really hard on all of you because you don't know what to do a lot of the times. You're not sure when is the fighting going to stop what are they going to do, why are they fighting so much. It's a lot to take in and it's hard on the children because it stays with you and it's hard for you to go to school and focus on what you're doing and also if you're in any sports to concentrate on that as well because you're thinking about what's going on at home, are you're parents really going to separate and it's hard to not think about this. You said that you are okay with it and that is completely fine because you want the fighting to stop and that's fine. It's hard to see you're parents fight a lot and if they are going to do this then like you said they're not going to be fighting anymore and it will be less pressure on you and everybody else in the house. You'll be able to sleep more and concentrate on school and everything else. A lot of times when the parents are fighting they don't think that it really affects the children but it does and I'm glad that it is going to get better for you. Also everyone deals with this differently, so if you are fine with this, that is fine like I said before. Don't be hard on yourself and try not to worry. Please do things to help you keep happy, music, drawing, movies, friends, ect. Lots of hugs.
   
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Re: Is this good to think this way? - October 8th 2017, 01:47 PM

Hey Sandra,

I think if you recognise that your mum and dad didn't have the best relationship and that they weren't happy, then there's nothing wrong with this. You can obviously see some of the problems that they did have within their relationship and unfortunately it's not always possible to resolve those issues. Sometimes people can work on their issues, sometimes it's not possible for that to happen and both people are a lot happier being apart. I think it's important that if your feelings do change about them separating, it's important to let your mum and dad know how you're feeling and if you do have anything you'd like them to answer then you feel able to ask and communicate with your parents.

I wish you the best of luck,
Paige


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Re: Is this good to think this way? - October 8th 2017, 01:54 PM

Hey,

I grew up my entire life without a Dad in it so I really don't know how you are feeling really when it comes to parents fighting. I suppose mine did when I was really little and I don't remember and that was one reason why my Mom left with me. But to answer your question I don't think there is a right or wrong way to respond to them separating. If you feel more comfortable with being happy about it and looking at the positives of no more fighting and stuff like that and that makes you deal with it better than that is the best way for you to deal with it. I guess it is a person to person thing.
   
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Re: Is this good to think this way? - October 8th 2017, 02:47 PM

Hi Sandra,

From my personal point of view, I came from a broken family and it has been almost ten years since my parents' divorce. I really appreciate how things has improved for the both of them, and of course - the arguments were all long gone pretty quickly after the divorce.

I opted for my custody to be with my mother, and in fact, after the situation has improved, they are good friends now and I still keep in regular contact with my father and my paternal side of family.

My take is, I'd say you are being really mature about it. Thumbs up.
   
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Re: Is this good to think this way? - October 10th 2017, 08:06 PM

i think its wrong
   
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