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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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mrabused Offline
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14 and still not allowed to hang out with friends? - November 1st 2017, 09:10 AM

Hey all.

I'm being kept captive at home for so damn long now, I literally could only go around the supermarkets near my neighborhood, and I can't go out at night, most of all after 2 years of trying to compromise with my parents; they still haven't changed their minds.

I feel so resentment towards parents because I'm literally, I mean literally the only person from my grade who can't hang out with friends after school!!!! Yesterday I had this discussion with my mum, and I used a bit of psychology and told her that you don't love me and you're just scared and an over protective freak. She told me that if she didn't love me she wouldn't be sending me to an international school nor spend money on my tutions, etc. After that I just shut up until she was done with her lecture.

I could do a little thing by not taking the bus and going by the metro and hang with my friends after school, I could probably tell her that I got after- school and she would let me, but is that the right thing to do?? I mean I don't see how she'd find out that I actually hanged out with my friends. Because otherwise, I don't theres anyway to actually change her mind.
She thinks my friends would - later on influence me do to drugs, and I wouldn't have the guts to say no, or just generally badly influence me. She thinks I can't stand up for myself!! That's how much my mum trusts me, my dad on the other hand says that I'm free to go anywhere I want without their consent when I turn 18. I'm a very impatient person and I seriously cannot wait any longer I've been like this for the last 2 years, almost.

So what can I even do? I'm hopelessly dying at home while everyone is having fun with each other..

Thanks for reading


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del677 Offline
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Re: 14 and still not allowed to hang out with friends? - November 1st 2017, 09:48 AM

omg I am so sorry they are so overprotective! I wonder where do they get their ideas from, that being , this kind of parenting, they got this idea from somewhere. maybe find out what influenced their ideas of how to raise kids? were they raised this way? did they read it in a book? did someone tell them this is the way to do it?

they are doing it all backwards if they think this is how to keep their kids drug free. what they are doing is actually how parents can drive their kids to drink and do drugs. kids become so unhappy they crave anything that will ease their mystery, and they turn to drugs and alcohol.

you could research nar-anon literature, or families anonymous literature, or al-anon literature. It all tells parents to stop trying to control your kids, because you are making it worse, not better.

maybe there are safe drug free activities, event, you could ask your parents if you could join. maybe church sponsored events? sports? dancing. bowling. anything where you can do it with peers and parents won't worry so much.
   
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Re: 14 and still not allowed to hang out with friends? - November 1st 2017, 10:02 AM

I know right
They were actually raised this way, more specifically my mum, my dads a cool guy and I have a decent relationship with him, though he doesn't approve going out with friends.

My mum's dad was so overprotective that he didn't even allow her and her siblings to go out on a school trip.. And as my mum grew up, she came to believe that this is the "Correct" way of raising kids. I guess it's just how unlucky I am

Also, my mum put my into every extra-curricular activity she think of, to keep my entertained through out the day, though it's pretty much boring me out.
I really wanna just hang out with my friends


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