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Unhappy I have no friends. - November 4th 2017, 12:40 AM

I don't know whats wrong with me but I can't make any friends. I have really bad anxiety and I try, I really do. Whenever I work up the courage to talk to someone its always super awkward or they ignore me.
   
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Re: I have no friends. - November 4th 2017, 09:15 PM

Making friends can be difficult but anxiety can amplify that difficulty even more. It seems like you are trying to work through that and that’s the first step!

How do you usually approach people? Maybe you could write down a list of conversation starters and then recite it to yourself every so often so you can have a few things off the top of your head that can be discussed with just about anyone. The news, the weather, or music are examples of different topics.

Are you interested in any school club or extra curricular? Perhaps you can join some or volunteer to meet people with similar interests as it helps to have a common interest with someone while trying to develop a friendship.

If someone ignores you, that is on them. However, someone ignoring you does not take away the progress you’re making by trying to talk to them. Keep that in mind.


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Re: I have no friends. - November 10th 2017, 02:57 PM

Something I learned this week
If someone ignores you, then it's not usually your own fault
It's can be because of all the other people they've met/spoke to before - maybe they've been treated badly or you just look like someone or remind them in another way of another person
and some people are really just not good with new people. From what you said, they may be like yourself
   
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Re: I have no friends. - November 12th 2017, 12:57 AM

Making friend's can be difficult, especially when you have anxiety. I know, I have had similar issues and probably always will. I have been able to make friends but it took a lot of effort on my part and, also, understanding on my friend's part. For example, when I start hanging out with people, I don't talk much and there are people that lose interest or feel weird about it. However, in both high school and my adult life, I was able to find a group of people who were patient with me. It took courage on my part, to continue to meet with them even though I felt awkward but it has led to some lasting friendships.

I can attest to the fact that there are a lot of people who are willing to try and get to know someone that comes off as shy.

Something I would suggest is that you look into any clubs/groups offered in your area or at your school. I was able to find a pretty cool book club in my town by doing a google search. I am, slowly, starting to build acquaintances with the people. It is a slow process in that group since we only meet once a month but there are other groups in my town that meet as often as once a week. By getting involved in clubs/groups you are more likely to meet people that share a common interest. For me, knowing that people have something in common with me can help lead to some conversation. I love reading so joining the book club helped because if all else failed, in regards to conversation, (and for quite some time it did) I could defer to book topics. The same could be true for you if you found a group of people who share interests with you.

It still will be difficult but, it could help to know that you can talk about that common interest and go from there.

Best regards.


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