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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Can you hear the silence?
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My 21st Birthday - November 18th 2017, 02:11 PM

I made a key for this thread in this post we have friend 1 and friend 2 I have gave them numbers so it's easier to understand.

Hi guys I turned 21 a few days ago and me and my mates decided to go out and get very drunk and go clubbing. The night went very well great night.

The day after we planned to go to nando's which is a restaurant in case you are not aware one of my 2 friends was unable to make it because he was not feeling well most likely because he had a hangover after our hardcore night out haha.

Me and my mate went to eat it was all good he brought me lunch for my birthday I was very thankful I like to show my appreciation when people buy me things so I made sure I said thank you. My other friend did turn up after and we went for a walk around town the 3 of us. friend 1 who I ate dinner with wanted to by a jacket because he thinks it's stupid that it is winter and I do not wear jackets I explained to him that I am getting a coat for Christmas and explained to him I did not want one. I told him that many times when he asked but he still kept forcing it.

After a short while he brought me a jacket in the sale and demanded the money for it after countless times which I said no thank you. I refused as it was his choice and I can not afford in my situation with not working much because of my anorexia which he knows that i do not get a lot of money like him.
We go to friends 2 flat and pay Fifa which is a football game on the playstation if you are not aware we are all pretty made on football. We playing that having a laugh in the flat and suddenly he starts turning nasty and even friend 2 said he went weird. We were walking back to his car because he said he would drive me and drop me off at the train station so I could get back home I live out of town about an hour away. We got to his car and he got my stuff and told me to walk home and I was like what the fuck mate? He just drove off.

I had no clue where I was alone in the dark very little phone signal. I ring friend 2 up crying and he came and got me to the train station and got me home. Friend 1 kept saying before he kicked me out that I treat my family poorly because I got in argument with my mum on the phone and called her a cow I have ADHD and my family just let it blow over when I swear at them or use a rude word it does not bother them. I have tried to find counselling but England do not fund it anyway we are going off track here!

Back on track he said that I treat my family badly and just left me to get home myself I had no way of getting home I have dyslexia I can not read maps I could not get home I missed my train and everything!.

My mum is angry I spoke to friend 2 and he said he had no right to do what he did to me. He sent me a message and I just ignored him all night as I was upset with him. I did answer and he said sorry but then he suddenly changes and starts saying it's all my fault and I am ungrateful for the meal which he brought me and that I need to learn how to get home by myself. How can you expect me to get home when I can't read what the fuck? Now he does not want to be my friend and what makes it worse he acts like he is the victim I am the victim here! these 2 guys are my only friends and I have been through so much with my eating disorder I just don't feel like my life is worth living sometimes I am not very well as it is with all my mental health problems I just feel so sad and depressed. My mum is very upset with friend 1
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My 21st Birthday - November 20th 2017, 04:44 PM

The main thing is that your mum isn't mad at you, but I understand why she's mad at friend 1. It isn't fair for friend 1 to buy you a meal for your birthday, and then a jacket and call you ungrateful. You said thank you for the meal, which is probably the most you could do. And you did explain that you didn't want that jacket. I mean, if you do go out in just a tshirt then I can understand why friend 1 did get you the jacket, because it's getting cold and it wouldn't be nice to see you freeze.
It's nice that friend 2 helped you, which is nice. The only advice I could give is maybe speak to friend 1 and ask why they were saying the things they were saying, and if there is anything you could do. Probably go over that you have these mental health issues, and explain that sometimes you can't do things, due to them.
I hope everything turns out okay with you. Hope you had a great birthday!

Zara x

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My 21st Birthday - November 20th 2017, 08:34 PM

I never wear jackets I like to show off all my tattoos. I just can't believe friend 1 left me stranded like he did thanks for the response.
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Re: My 21st Birthday - November 21st 2017, 03:39 AM

I would be so angry at friend 1 so I can see why your mother is upset with friend 1.

It seems a big strange that he bought a jacket for you and then wanted you to pay him back and then on top of that got into that argument and drove off.
I know two people who have trouble with directions and traveling on their own whose friends did something similar of leaving them stranded and it was traumatic for them. Like you, they put trust in someone to take them home and they were left stranded instead.

I'm not sure talking sense into friend 1 would work. It sounds like he was angry at something. Maybe he regretted buying you a jacket because he actually needed the money or something. I can't know for sure. But you specifically said you're fine without a jacket.

How are things between friend 1 and friend 2 at the moment? I'm wondering if friend 1 and friend 2 have argued at all about this. Maybe friend 2 just needs time to cool off. And probably you can use some space away from him too.

I'm very sorry this has happened to you.
Take care of yourself
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Re: My 21st Birthday - November 27th 2017, 10:27 PM

I tried speaking to the friend but he blames me and is now being ignorant and won't see what he has done wrong he is also upsetting the other friend involved and being rude about his girlfriend. We invited him out a few nights ago to see if he wanted to make up with us but when he turned up he just started shouting at us and arguing...
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