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Thumbs down Alone - December 15th 2017, 11:10 PM

"being alone shouldn't be something that anyone gets used to"-- I came up with this quote at lunch today... in the library... alone... trying to keep myself company. I am my own best friend but also an enemy at the same time.

Lonesome used to bother me a lot and it caused so much depression in my past. But now I just feel numb to this feeling and it's become such a normal thing that I just don't feel anything at all anymore. I always expect to be this way though. I always meet people and we become best friends but there's always a time when we grow apart and they leave and I search for someone to blame. Did they leave me because of something I may have done? Or are they just stuck up teenagers now? Or do we just not have anything in common anymore? Or am I just afraid of being hurt so I distance myself.

I had this one best friend and she isn't rude to me so at least we don't hate each other. We still talk sometimes but I keep hoping to find a time to tell her the way I feel. Or perhaps it's just time to move on with my life and pursue the things that make me happy.

Being alone at school is so much different from being alone at home because at least I have my guitar and my computer at home. I can write songs, I can dream, I can love, I can learn new things on my own and this is what make me happy. But at school, I'm limited to what I can do and all I focus on is trying to look productive so people don't automatically think of me as a loner. I basically am though.

This is my reality and I feel numb to it so it doesn't hurt the way it used to. I just don't feel anything anymore. I'm alone in all my struggles.
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Re: Alone - December 16th 2017, 04:43 PM

This must be very difficult for you and though it seems like you're alone it is likely that other people at your school feel this way and you just don't know who those people are.

Do you think you can tell your friend how you're feeling? Perhaps you can just come out with it instead of looking for the right time to tell her. If you keep looking for the right time, that time may not come along. If you can't or don't want to talk to your friend can you talk to a guidance counselor or teacher about your feelings?

You said at home you have hobbies that carry you through. What if you found some new hobbies that you could work on while school is in session? For instance, you could write poetry or music and then play guitar at home after school.

Have you considered volunteering or joining clubs in your community? That could help you meet people.

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Re: Alone - December 29th 2017, 09:13 AM

I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling so alone lately. As Cassie said, it might feel like you're the only one who feels this way, but it's likely that there are other kids at your school that are experiencing the same feelings of isolation.

When it comes to speaking to your friend, it sounds like now is the right time. Waiting for it to come up naturally in conversation could mean you'll be waiting for a while. Sometimes the best thing to do when you have something on your mind is to just come right out and say it. If possible, ask your friend if you would be able to meet up for lunch or coffee so you can have a face-to-face conversation about things. Let her know that, while you know she's busy, you miss your friendship and have been feeling lonely lately. Perhaps the two of you will be able to set aside time to hang out at least once a week to do some of the things you used to do. Alternatively, you can write her a letter talking about your feelings if you're not totally comfortable sharing them in person.

It's great that you have hobbies to keep you busy when school isn't in session! While you may not be able to play your guitar at school, why not try integrating your love of music into your school day and other social settings? Is there a music elective you can sign up to take next year? If joining band isn't something that you're interested in, perhaps you could see if there are any music-related clubs on campus. You can also consider branching out into your community to see if there are any groups related to your hobbies that you can join. It may not seem like much, but participating in social activities related to things that you really love doing is a great way to make new friends, as it gives you the opportunity to meet people in or around your age group that you already have something in common with.

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