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Embarrassed myself at a party - December 19th 2017, 04:12 AM

[SIZE="a"]I was at a late-night party a few days ago and I still can't get this off my mind.

I have severe anxiety and panic, and I am EXTREMELY self-consciousness in public places because I have this tremendous fear of what others think of me. I have never gotten a full-on panic attack but i've gotten pretty close to one multiple times.

So i was standing behind a crowd of people clapping and watching as some other couples on the dance floor danced. I felt very very shy and couldn't get myself to go up there and start dancing.

All of a sudden one of my best friends thinks its a great idea to holler my name from the middle of the dance floor and called me to dance. I quickly shook my head no from the back, but she asked like 3 times and EVERYONE turned their heads around to stare. It was so freaking humiliating and awkward. I caught people locking eyes with each other for a few seconds and exchanging looks like 'what the F is wrong with her why won't she just come up and dance?'

So I got up there feeling super nervous and VERY awkwardly danced with my friends. Like, flailing-arms-around-dancing. Super cringe.

There's this one older guy who is known to be super sweet and would never make ANYONE feel bad, and I think he saw how embarrassed i looked trying to move around and dance so he quickly came up to me and grabbed my arms and whispered "come, dance with me briana" and held me and danced with me.

Again he just did it cuz he's a really nice guy and it was more out of pity than anything else. He said something really quietly too, like "dont be shy" or something.

UGH. Everyone was staring at me and cringing while i moved my arms around like a freak and looked so cringeworthy. I can't dance for the life of me. It was mortifying. Later after the song was over my other friend came up to me and was like, "so were you embarrassed to do that?"

towards the end of the party i excused myself, locked myself in one of the bathrooms, and cried. It was so so so embarrassing.

I need to thank that guy later for saving me and offering to dance with me.
How can I get over the embarrassment? I am honestly so mortified whenever I think about it I want to cry.
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Re: Embarrassed myself at a party - December 19th 2017, 05:00 AM

Hey there,

I am sorry you had that experience. I am quite shy and things like that have caused me to react similarly. I know that I used to be embarrassed because I was imagining what other people must have been thinking about me. I would obsess about how silly they must have found me or things like that. One day it hit me that most the people who witnessed the embarrassing incident probably didn't remember. They might have witnessed it and thought something, initially, but as the days went by they would have forgotten because, to them, it probably didn't seem like a huge thing. I suppose I got this thought after I was talking to someone about an incident I witnessed. The person I was talking to had to remind me of the incident because I had forgotten about it.

I admit that this thought doesn't help with the initial embarrassment I might feel over something but it does help once I really get down to thinking about it.

I don't really know if this will help you and, if not, hopefully there is someone else who will come along and provide some other suggestions.

Best regards.


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Re: Embarrassed myself at a party - December 19th 2017, 09:22 AM

I'm really sorry to hear that you had that experience. Being put on the spot is uncomfortable enough as it is, but being in front of a crowd can definitely make it even harder.

Whenever I'm feeling self-conscious about myself in public, whether it's something as nerve-wracking as giving a presentation or something as small as having a zit, I try to take 5 minutes to remind myself that most people probably aren't seeing the things I'm worried about in the same light. Think about it like this: if someone else had gone up there instead of you, would you have been focused on how they looked and whether or not they were a good dancer? Probably not. Even if it is something that people notice, it's usually nothing more than a fleeting thought that will more than likely be forgotten immediately after the fact. While these positive thoughts don't necessarily make the embarrassment and shyness go away completely, it can definitely help minimize it.

It might be worth it to talk to your friend(s) about the way being put on the spot made you feel. It's possible that they didn't realize just how uncomfortable it would make you. I've found that people who enjoy being in the spotlight sometimes mistakenly assume that it's something everyone enjoys and that some just need more of a push than others. Having an honest conversation with them about the way it affected you will hopefully make them more sensitive to your feelings and prevent something like this from happening again.


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