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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Thinking Offline
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I desperately need help - January 30th 2018, 03:35 PM

My parents had told me that they will divorce after I start attending university. They had cheated on each other after agreeing that they will divorce after I am independent.

I should have seen this happening... I should have knew it will bound to happen someday... I had tried my best to be strong.

Right now I can't sleep. The room is dark but my future is darker than that.

My heart is completely shattered.

I can't see any future, given my family circumstances (especially for those who knew my actual situation)

I need help. For real.

I am struggling to ask for help.

My life is not real.

I don't know anywhere else to ask for help anymore. There is nothing anymore. Nothing. The people whom I can trust is zero. No more.


Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
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Re: I desperately need help - January 30th 2018, 08:05 PM

Sorry to hear about your parents' situation. It must be difficult especially for you, because you're supposed to trust your parents and the two of them are now separating. Do you think you can talk to them and explain how you're feeling about it? It might be a good way to get your feelings out, similar to posting here like you've done.

It seems like not trusting people is a normal response after what you've been going through. Know that even though you don't feel like you can trust anyone right now, the feelings won't last forever and you will be able to trust in time when you are ready.

Keep hanging on.


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Re: I desperately need help - January 30th 2018, 11:04 PM

Hey,

I am sorry to hear about your parents. No matter how old we are it can be difficult to realize that our parents are no longer going to be together. It can definitely change a lot of things in life and I know people who have had their perspective on relationships change. One thing I think you should consider is that your parents probably didn't come to this decision lightly and they probably realized that they would be happier if they were no longer together. It might take time for you to open up to this idea but it is very possible that your parents splitting will lead to them being happier and it might lead to them being able to support you a bit more as parents.

I do not know your personal situation and so this might not be the case for you but I can say that my parents splitting did end up leading to my dad being happier and he was better able to support me as well.

It can be hard to trust people but I hope that you can find a way to reach out about what you are currently dealing with. If you do not feel that you can reach out to people off-line than maybe you could consider reaching out to us, here. Maybe you could consider pming someone or continue reaching out in the forums.

I truly hope that you are able to get to a better place. I know things are going to be tough for a while so please don't hesitate to reach out to me if you need anything.

Best regards.


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Re: I desperately need help - January 30th 2018, 11:51 PM

Hey Ivan,

Having your parents break up can be hard to deal with, especially when you think it's your fault. I know first hand how difficult a parent break up can be, however I want you to know that even though they are breaking up it isn't your fault and they aren't abandoning you. Just because they don't want to be with each other anymore doesn't mean they don't want to be there for you. Like Cassie said, talking to them and expressing how you feel to them might do all of you some good, and they can reassure you that they aren't leaving each other because of you.

I know it can seem like you can't trust anyone anymore, and if you don't know anyone in your personal life that you think you can trust you still have us. You know that we are all here to support you and offer help so you can talk to us as well. You were very helpful to a lot of people on here, and we are here to return the favour anytime. However now that I've said all that, I do want you to know you can still trust your parents. They're still there for you even if they are divorcing, and you are still able to talk to them. You can still have a bright future, this isn't the end of the world for you.

I know things are hard to deal with right now, but I hope that it gets easier. You're still welcome to talk to any of us, we're all here for you.

Take care.


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