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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Elle_94 Offline
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Unhappy I don't really have any friends - February 19th 2018, 10:32 PM

I've got no friends at all, and I'm not sure what to do.

I've only recently realised that I don't actually have friends. I'm not a complete loner as such. I do have people I talk to, but they're just acquaintances or perhaps 'mates,' not really friends.

I never had any friends as a child. I used to walk around the playground alone. In high school, I had people I could talk to and eat lunch with, but I'd never get invited out to things or asked to the birthday parties or anything. There was no-one I really talked to outside of school. At sixth form this only worsened as a lot of people in my year group left for college or apprenticeships, and the friendship circles sort of tightened because of this. But I was never in one, so it left me even more isolated.

I'm now at University. I haven't kept in touch with anyone from Primary school or secondary school apart from one girl I speak to very occasionally and see for coffee or lunch perhaps once every 3 or 4 months. She's lovely and we get along, but we're not close or even in regular contact really.

At university, there's a nice group of people I chat with and seem to get on with okay, but again, they're not really my friends as they don't really chat to me much outside of uni unless it's about group work or helping them out with assignments. I don't really hang out with them outside of classes and I know they often go out after uni without me.

I have lots of colleagues and acquaintances, but no one I'm close to. There's no one I can talk to about my problems or go to after a rough day. I don't have any one I could just ring up for a chat and it not be weird sort of thing.

It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and I didn't get any cards or birthday wishes from any one apart from family members and my boyfriend.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't work out why people don't want to be friends with me. My social skills aren't exactly brilliant, but I'm polite and friendly. I'm not bad at conversation but I don't really know how to develop relationships beyond the sort of 'casual mates' stage.

I guess my two main questions are:
What can I do to try and futher a relationship beyond that casual acquaintances point next time I have the opportunity?
How can I deal with having no friends and avoid getting too low about it right now?

Thank you in advance
   
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Connor_D Offline
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Re: I don't really have any friends - February 20th 2018, 02:42 PM

Oh, your post is sad. I want to be your friend T_____T
Try to find people with same hobbies and interests. I found my best friend on Comic Con. We are both huge DC fans, so it was easier to become closer than like just being two random guys with nothing in common.
   
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Re: I don't really have any friends - February 22nd 2018, 12:02 PM

When it comes to dealing with a lack of friendships without getting to low about it, it might help to reframe your thoughts. For instance, instead of saying you have no friends, tell yourself that you're working on making friends and will have some soon. You can also focus on the people you do have when you feel low such as your boyfriend and your family.

You said you meet up with someone once every few months; do you think you can get into contact with her and see if you can meet up again with her soon? This girl seems like someone you could have a nice friendship with and perhaps you already have a friendship, it just needs building.

Next time you have the opportunity, just be yourself. Talk to your acquaintances, maybe ask where they're headed after class (etc) an ask if you can accompany them or ask if they'd want to hang out sometime. You can also ask for their number so you can talk to them at other times.

You can do this!


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Re: I don't really have any friends - February 22nd 2018, 01:57 PM

I get the feeling that when it comes down to this, you gotta bear your heart out and remember that people open up to you as much as you open up to them.So the crazy way is to let them know everything so that they feel as if they can get to know you completely. But the truth is that it's not just you- a few other people are having trouble with this sort of thing, and the only thing left is to keep trying until you succeed.

That's how to jump from acquiantances to friends, but besties mean even more. I know because I lost my bestie, and it....... is going to cost me a lot. I'll just say that.

Also, keep in mind that you should probably focus on joining more clubs and societies that will lead to you having more mates.. I have tried those before, didn't work for me but you're in college so you're still young. It will work for you.

Have faith and keep trying.. You'll get what you want someday.

Much Kindness and Warmth,
Darren


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rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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