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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Svisttt Offline
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Toxic friends - March 1st 2018, 06:39 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

This is mostly going to be a rant, I think. It'll involve self harm and suicide, so please be safe with it!

So, bit of context before I continue. For most of my life, I've been homeschooled, and last year I decided to give public school a shot because I was extremely lonely and wanted some friends. 2 or so months ago, I went back into homeschooling because I couldn't deal with their crap anymore.

My friends are extremely toxic, and I realize this. They do not initiate conversations first. They don't care about me or my opinion.They only seem to talk to me if they need to rant about their problems (and good lord they make it out like there's a bunch).

This was happening before and after I left. I've been keeping in contact with them via email (if I can even say we were "in contact"), but I've always had to shoot them an email first. They wouldn't ask how I was, and one of two things would happen. They would either talk about the,selves, or respond with one to two word replies. Barely holding conversation.

There's this one friend who is extremely depressed. They will send out mass emails maybe every other week, that are essentially suicide notes. They've attempted to go through with it once or twice. Last night they actually sent another one, and to be frank I'm sick of it. I am more than willing to listen if they need to talk about things, but this isn't the way to do it. This isn't the healthy way to do it. I care about all of these people, even if they couldn't care less about me. The others have done things like this, the person who called herself my best friend randomly brings up cutting ALL the time, and I struggle a lot with self harm.

I'm just... so tired of it. I don't know why I care about them anymore. They make me feel so worthless. I'd cry every day at lunch because I felt they didn't care about me- and they didn't. They didn't even notice.

I've been friends with extremely lovely people I've met online for years now, and I've spoken to them about it. Most of the suggested to see about getting a new email.

I barely know why I'm bothering anymore. Sorry if this is really poorly written, wasn't really paying attention and just wrote.
   
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Re: Toxic friends - March 1st 2018, 11:52 PM

This isn't poorly written at all; even if it was, getting out your feelings about things is what matters.

It seems like your friends are uninterested and your depressed friend must unfortunately be struggling a lot. Perhaps the only way she knows how to get help and support is to send out the mass emails in the way that she does.

You said others have suggested getting a new email; perhaps this is something you can look into. You can also consider putting the messages in junk mail (and they should continue to go into your junk folder) or you could try blocking your friend's email addresses so they can no longer email you and you don't have to get a new account.

Feel free to keep us updated.


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Re: Toxic friends - March 2nd 2018, 01:24 AM

Hey there.

I'm sorry to here you're having problems with your friends at the moment

However, as difficult as it is, I think it's best if you distance your self from this group. From what you've described, they don't seem to treat you well and you don't deserve to feel ignored or as though others don't care for you. I think getting a new email and moving on from them would be best for you. Don't let other people bring you down. It can be hard to leave people behind when you care for them but sometimes you just have to think about what you need and what's best for you, and personally I think it's better to have no friends than friends that are no good for you, even if that's what it would mean.

In terms of the friends that's suffering with depression, is s/he getting help from a professional?

You say you have some great friends online, focus on them and others that are having a positive impact on you. Perhaps you could also think about joining some clubs to help you meet some new friends too?

Best of luck,
Honey
   
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Re: Toxic friends - March 2nd 2018, 02:46 AM

Hi, thanks dudes

I discovered that the depressed friend is currently in a local mental health hospital, and getting the help they need.

I'm probably going to wait a little bit to see if things change, if not, I'll probably either block them or just get a new email.

Thank you guys
   
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