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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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catcatian Offline
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I just want to leave the house - April 4th 2018, 05:28 AM

The circumstances:*
I tried to make plans with friends yesterday, but she basically said that we need an adult to facilitate us like 10 year olds. I'm turning 17 in a week, and my friends recently turned 18.* mother got very angry at me because I didn't eat the food she made for me. I didn't ask for food. She tried to ground me and take my phone without giving me any good reason why besides "I'm upset". If she gave a decent reason as to why I was grounded, I would have handed it over. I didn't. Mother decided that I was 5 years old again, and started trying to wrestle me. For me physical actions in an argument is where it crosses the line, so I ended up trying to get out of her meaty arms with my nails, and then locked myself in the bathroom for a few hours so that she couldn't get to me. Meanwhile, my mother is showing my dad the marks I made on her and lying that I attacked her and taunted her. I'm very conflicted and upset because I had no intention of hurting my mom, but I'm very angry at her for breaking my trust by being physical with me again. She has hit me in the past, and if I don't do what she asks she sometimes forces me to do it by trying to pick me up, take something from my hands, or drag me. Let me remind you again, I'm turning 17 in a fucking week. I'm currently grounded and, because my dad believes my mom, both are pissed at me. I'm typing this on my school laptop because they took everything else. I will admit that I was probably being rude as hell, but I don't think that gives my mom the right to act like a three year old and manhandle me.*
I can't yet drive because no one will teach me, and my parents won't pay for driving school. I live too far away from town to get a paying job, otherwise I would have to walk miles just to get to work.*

The problem:*
I wanted to spend time with my friends tomorrow, and I haven't been out of the house in days. I feel completely isolated. It's like my own home is a prison. But both parents are very mad and probably won't listen to what I have to say. I was going to leave tomorrow regardless of what they say for the rest of the day to get out of the house and hang with my friends and boyfriend, and then come home sometime before the legal curfew.*

I just want to know how illegal what I'm doing is, and if it's going to be worth the consequences. Also, what do I do about my non-abusive but kinda crappy home life? I've been trying really hard to appease my parents but it doesn't seem to be working...
   
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cynefin Offline
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Re: I just want to leave the house - April 4th 2018, 02:21 PM

Your mom shouldn't have put her hands on you like that. That's not okay. You said your dad believes your mom; is there anyone else you can talk to about this? Maybe someone you trust at school?

Perhaps when things cool down you can talk to your parents about driving. You said they won't teach you, but if you mention wanting to drive so you can work to better yourself, they might allow you to.

I can't tell you how illegal it is but you may have worsening consequences from your parents if you decide to leave the house when you're not supposed to. You have to do what you feel is best for you.


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