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Nikkkkki Offline
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They hate me - April 23rd 2018, 07:40 PM

We went on a swimming competition with our club.
Two groups from my club went. I was the second one. At lunch i was sitting with my friends. One of them was not very liked by anyone. Honestly i didnt see anything wrong with her but i wanted to fit in(i was new to the club). At the table me and the other girls were writing a mean song about her. I thought everything was ok cause she was smiling with us. I know i was very stupid. Later one of my friends told me she was crying. And because i am so stupid i showed the song to everybody else in my group. One of the girls took a picture of the song and posted it to everyone in the other group. Now everybody hates us because of me. I think we deserved a punishment but i still dont want everyone but my closest friends to hate us and think we are super mean (which we kind of are). I am very sorry for what i did. The friends from my group belive me cause i was crying but i dont think the others will. What can i do

P.s. sorry for the mistakes i am not good at english
   
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Re: They hate me - April 24th 2018, 12:06 AM

Hey there,

I think it is good that you are taking responsibility for your actions. It shows that you are growing from this experience. Unfortunately, when we do things we shouldn't and other people get hurt we can't always fix the mistake. I think that the best thing you can do is apologize to the girl who this happened too. If she chooses to accept the apology that might help things and if she doesn't that is her right. Your friend's might choose to forgive you later on down the line because a lot of people can tell when someone is truly remorseful. One suggestion I have is that you try and avoid these girls if they are continuing to be mean. It isn't beneficial to continue being friend's with people who are not kind.

Best regards.


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Re: They hate me - April 24th 2018, 07:36 AM

The fact that you are taking responsibility for your actions is a great first step in a positive direction. While it's completely understandable that you don't want others thinking you're mean, the most important next step is apologizing to the girl who was the subject of the song. Let her know that you understand why writing a mean song and teasing her wasn't okay and that you feel remorse for any hurt that may have been caused. If she accepts your apology, that's great and may help smooth things over with everyone else. If she doesn't, that's totally within her rights but, at least, you can walk away knowing that you made an effort to address the situation.

If you notice that being mean to others is a trend within this specific friend group, you may want to take a step back and evaluate the relationships. From what you've written, it sounds like you don't want to be someone who hurts other peoples feelings, which is great. Take a minute to think about whether or not these friendships promote that kind of behavior in you. Even if the answer is yes, it doesn't mean you need to immediately stop being friends with any of them. However, it might be a good idea to talk to them about how your collective actions can affect on other people and whether or not that's something that you want to continue to do for a laugh.

Overall, it does sound like this was a learning experience for you and I hope you're able to take away something positive from it.

Take care!


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