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Dust and Ash
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How to stop being scared? - April 24th 2018, 03:00 PM

Yeah. I'm scared of my parents. I'm scared to talk to them, confide in them, and to be around them. Everything they've done and said makes me curl up in a ball and cry. Last night I got in trouble and startec crying because I thought she was going to send me away. How do I stop being so scared? I hate that I feel this weak, and i want to be able to stop being scared and be strong for once.

When the world drags you down, roll over and smell the roses.
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Re: How to stop being scared? - April 26th 2018, 09:04 AM

Not having a healthy relationship with your parents can be tough. I'm sorry to hear that you feel afraid to be open with them about the things going on in your life for fear of getting in trouble. I've actually had a similar relationship with my parents for most of my life, so I can definitely understand some of the feelings that can go along with this situation.

Is there something specific that you're struggling to talk to them about? Or are you simply wishing that you had the freedom to talk to them if and/or when you need it? If it's the latter, perhaps you can try reaching out to another trusted adult in their place. For example, you could try talking to a favorite teacher, coach, other adult relative, or a friend's parent if you feel comfortable doing so. While it isn't the same as being able to talk to your own parents, having another positive, healthy adult influence in your life may help fill that void.

Feeling scared isn't something that is going to go away overnight. Truth be told, even as you do start to feel less afraid of them, the feelings may still linger, as their personalities are unlikely to change. However, it is doable. One thing that I found helpful in my particular situation was to surround myself with people that I can openly confide in without fear of judgment. Spending your time with positive people who lift you up and validate your feelings may help diminish fear of what your parents will think simply by showing you that you are worth more than that.

You can also try repeating a mantra to yourself based on the root of your fears. For example, one of the biggest fears that stopped me from opening up to my parents was the thought that they might be disappointed in me for choosing a path in life that was different than the one they wanted for me. This is something that I still struggle with, so when it gets bad and I need to have a tough conversation to them, I spend a few minutes reminding myself that my life is my own and I'm the only one that really needs to be happy with my choices. Try identifying what you are most afraid of and come up with an affirmation that you can tell yourself to help begin destroying that fear at its root.

I hope this helped! If you'd like to talk about it some more, bounce ideas off someone, or just go more in depth, feel free to message me or reply to this thread!

Take care!

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foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
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