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I just don't understand. - May 4th 2018, 03:11 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I just found out one of my younger sisters is pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 4 years. All we have to show for it, is a bill from a miscarriage from 3 years ago. I'm so upset about it. I try not to, but I don't get along with my family anyway. my older sister is a drug addict and has six kids. She doesn't take care of any of them. My younger sister that is pregnant doesn't even like kids, but was clearly practicing un-safe sex. I also have a younger sister who is an addict and who may or may not be pregnant right now. (She took a positive test, and a negative one later one so we don't know just yet)

Funny thing is, when one of my younger sisters (I have a lot of sisters.) got pregnant I was very happy for her, and didn't feel this resentment at all. I knew how badly she wanted to be a mom, and she also had issues getting pregnant that I had the first time around. (I have one daughter.) I'm elated everytime I see a photo of my niece and it brings me joy to know how much my sister loves her little girl.

Anyway, I'm just feeling very angry and upset. I'm not sure I should feel this way. I just don't know what to do.
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Re: I just don't understand. - May 4th 2018, 04:54 AM

I don't think there is anything wrong with you having these feelings. I think that struggling with understanding this type of thing is common. I know people who have had or are having difficulty with conceiving and they struggle with this same thing as well. I struggle with it because having a child might not be something I'll be able to do.

I think the thing to remember is that your feelings are valid. They might not be feelings that make you feel good but that doesn't mean they aren't valid.

I think finding a way to not let the resentment or hurt become too overpowering is important though. I am not sure what the best way to go about doing that is as I haven't been able to figure it out, completely. I think it's something that is different for each person too.

I know this probably wasn't that helpful but I wanted to respond and let you know that your feelings are valid.

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Re: I just don't understand. - May 4th 2018, 11:14 PM

Thank you. It was helpful.
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