TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Golfing girl Offline
Be Creative. Always Dance.

I've been here a while
********
 
Golfing girl's Avatar
 
Name: Emma
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 1,702
Blog Entries: 100
Join Date: March 6th 2017

I'm not sure? - June 18th 2018, 12:46 PM

Hello, I don't mean to be upset about this. This girl joined our dance school about three months ago and she doesn't have a lot of friends. Last weeks it was her birthday and her mom asked me and three of my friends if we could come to her house for her birthday and have a small party. We all said yes, I bought her a new hip hop shirt, one of my friends also got her one too and my other two friends put money together and bought her hip hop pants. Well Saturday she came up to us at the coffee shop and gave us all back the gifts and said that she doesn't like them. I didn't say anything because I was upset about this. I thought this was rude, if you don't like it just say thank you.


Senior HelpLINK Mentor and Forum Moderator. PM/VM

Dance is your pulse, your heartbeat, your breathing.
Itís the rhythm of your life. Itís the expression in time and movement,
in happiness, joy, sadness and envy.
-Jacques díAmbroise
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Hypothesis. Offline
Not significant.

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
Hypothesis.'s Avatar
 
Name: Dez
Age: 23
Gender: They/them.
Location: Connecticut, USA

Posts: 19,162
Blog Entries: 138
Join Date: November 16th 2010

Re: I'm not sure? - June 18th 2018, 04:04 PM

That’s shocking to me that she just gave them back and said she didn’t like them! I’m sorry that happened. I can tell you and your other friends worked hard to get her these gifts by saving up money and also at least tried getting her a gift related to her interests.

If you all want you can try to talk to her and politely but firmly let her know that this is hurtful and rude. Maybe she didn’t know? Of course, on the other side of things she could have known and just not cared.

If you don’t want to talk to her that’s okay though. I’d honestly be considering whether or not she’s the type of person you want to be friends with if she does something like that. I’m not saying you have to stop being friends with her right now if you don’t want to, but if you choose to continue this friendship I would honestly keep an eye on how she treats you. Don’t put up with someone treating you poorly because if she treats you poorly she’s not someone you want to be associated with. If you don’t continue the friendship of course try and be civil during dance, but there’s no rule saying you have to talk to outside of class. So definitely strongly consider what she just did and if she’s worth being friends with after treating you like that.

I would be upset too and I can see where you’re coming from. You girls should feel glad you tried to make her feel included and that you even tried to get these gifts for her. Not everyone would go to these lengths. Some people wouldn’t even bother. So I can tell how wonderful you and the others from dance are. This is not your fault. <3


   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Golfing girl Offline
Be Creative. Always Dance.

I've been here a while
********
 
Golfing girl's Avatar
 
Name: Emma
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 1,702
Blog Entries: 100
Join Date: March 6th 2017

Re: I'm not sure? - June 18th 2018, 11:17 PM

Thank you so much. I will talk with my friends and see what they would like to do.


Senior HelpLINK Mentor and Forum Moderator. PM/VM

Dance is your pulse, your heartbeat, your breathing.
Itís the rhythm of your life. Itís the expression in time and movement,
in happiness, joy, sadness and envy.
-Jacques díAmbroise
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Latte Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Latte's Avatar
 
Age: 26

Posts: 259
Join Date: June 27th 2018

Re: I'm not sure? - June 27th 2018, 08:00 PM

That's too bad that she did that.

You'd think that if you didn't have many friends (or even if you did), you'd be grateful that people put the effort and thought into a gift you liked and be happy with it and try to work it in.

On the other hand, she might not have been trying to be disrespectful. Generally speaking, when you give someone a gift, it's helpful to include a gift receipt so that they have the option of returning the item to the store without calling attention to it. I have done this before when buying clothing for my family or friends so that if it doesn't fit, they can return it, without having to call attention it it / risk an uncomfortable situation by giving it back to me directly. It's sort of too bad that the reason she returned it was because she didn't like it and not because it was over fit... but my point is that, given that this is a common approach, it's possible that she didn't expect you and your friends to be offended by it, she might just have really not liked it and not known how else to handle it.

For example, what happens if she had 0 plans of ever wearing that stuff, but Christmas rolls around and you guys buy her more hip hop themed clothing and now she's accumulating even more stuff that she doesn't even like? If you don't even know her that well, maybe she's doing you a kindness by letting you get to know her better, even if it was an awkward way for it to happen.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.