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Should I go? - August 3rd 2018, 09:22 AM

There's this party I was invited to and I don't know if I should go. So at the end of last year, I graduated high school. And there's only one person I am still in contact with and she is the one who invited me as far as I know. I said that I would go because my mom was there and she always wants me to socialize more. That means that if I don't go, I'll have to make up some excuse. Okay, the reason why I don't know if I should go is, like...it's kind of hard to explain but I'm 99% sure there's going to be people there who won't want to see me. Especially this one guy and it's not his party but he chose the date because that's when he's visiting (he moved away for college).

So he wasn't ever rude to me or anything like that. The problem is me, or my social anxiety, really. When I was in high school, I had awful social anxiety. I wouldn't open up to and talk to people regularly unless they talked to me for months. Usually, the other person would have to initiate the conversation too. This guy had anxiety too so we only interacted a handful of times but the reason I feel so bad is because I know he tried to talk to me a few different times and I just didn't know what to say. It's like I just froze up because I wasn't expecting a practical stranger to talk to me and so I said nothing. And I don't know, I feel like he might've understood that I'd just frozen up because we still talked a tiny bit after that and it didn't seem like there were any hard feelings. But I still feel like that if I talked to someone and they didn't talk back, it would've hurt my feelings so I don't know.

Plus, I think there's also going to be some ex-"friends" there who I've cut out of my life (and they weren't too happy about that). But I cut them out because they were just influencing my life negatively, I guess. They were rude to me and made me feel bad all the time so I just dropped them.

But there's going to be people there who I want to see again, including the guy I mentioned in the second paragraph so I want to go. I'm just worried there's going to be drama. I mean, I don't have to talk to anyone I don't want to. I could just say 'hi' but I don't know. We're probably going to be drinking anyway so I'll be more...stupid lol and in higher spirits because that's how I get. It might not be so bad then?

Like, I don't know what to do. I'm feeling really conflicted. Should I go or not?
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Re: Should I go? - August 3rd 2018, 02:51 PM

Whether or not you decide to go to this party is up to you and what feels best or most comfortable for you. You laid out a good amount of information here; things to be considered when making your decision. Something else you can think about is whether or not going to this party will benefit you. And, if there is drama, how do you think you would cope with it?

Should you decide to go, it might be a good change of scenery and a nice way of seeing people that you mentioned wanting to catch up with. That type of scene can be difficult with social anxiety but you might benefit if you push through any possible anxious feelings that you have.

Best of luck in making your decision.

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Re: Should I go? - August 3rd 2018, 04:28 PM

Hey there, I can definitely sense the internal struggle you are feeling. As cynefin said, it's really up to you in the end to make that decision. From my perspective, it sounds like there are more reasons you should go to this party. I know what it's like to live with social anxiety, mine get so severe at time that I just hole myself up in my room all the time and avoid social situation in fear of drama or shit hitting the fan. But as long as you stick close to the ones you get along with and avoid the ones you don't get along with, you should be fine or as close to it as possible.

Best of luck in making your decision.
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Re: Should I go? - August 16th 2018, 01:51 PM

I think yes.
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