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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ikigai Offline
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Friends... - October 22nd 2018, 02:13 PM

Hello.
I had some very good friends when I was in junior high school. Then I went to high school and I couldn't make any new friends. I somehow survived as a freshman (I changed schools in the middle of the year so there was a lot going on). Now I'm in my second year and it's awful.
I've never really had friends here, at my current school, I only kinda hang around with two people. Now I'm starting to think that one of them might be what some people refer to as a toxic person.
I don't want to hang around with them because I often feel that meeting them is the last thing I wanna do, but then - if I started isolating I would have absolutely nobody to talk to in my class. And that would be a complete disaster.

But then I also feel some kind of angst towards all the people in my class.
(as for my old friends from junior high, they've met new people and we meet very rarely now. Besides I really need to have like a best friend at school because otherwise it's super hard for me to survive there.)
Thanks for reading and help.
Sue


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TheAtomicBlade Offline
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Re: Friends... - October 22nd 2018, 11:10 PM

Hey
So I can kinda relate (#weird kid through high school). Something I personally found helpful (learnt it in uni if I'm honest), is to find something that's yours. What I mean is find something you're passionate about. For me, for example, it was running and gym. I met a few people, and while we never became best buds, I had friends simply through similar interests. So I highly urge you to look for something. Even something like playing DnD and joining a club for that. Its simple, but really helps.

Next, is putting yourself out there, carefully. Thing is, when i put myself out there, I would be clingy. Some people dealt with it and helped me get over it (long story), but most were like "whose that weirdo and why does he keep messaging?". So what I recommend is maybe reach out to classmates. Just say "Hey I'm Sue" and start a convo (Did you get assignment X or concept Y is a safe opener 9/10 times btw). Then potentially ask for FB or something, and then don't over message. Maybe drop a line saying hey, and guage their response. Rule of thumb, if they see it and don't respond in an hour, don't text back a few days. They may reply later saying "hey so sorry was busy", in which case reply, but otherwise give them some room. I found that I wouldn't give people space (as I was afraid of losing them), and that drove them away. So TL;DR: start a convo, get contact deets and keep chats short and sweet.

Also, learn to love yourself. I struggle with this to date. But learning to love yourself gives you the confidence of approaching people. Specially in high school, a lack of confidence means you're going to be the "i feel sorry for so-and-so" type friend normally. So learn to be able to just stand by yourself. Sure, its lonely, but then you begin attracting people. Takes some time.

Another thing is to consider keeping a long term goal. Maybe its University (mine), maybe its a job, maybe something else. Keep that goal close. It'll be the fire that keeps you warm if you're alone in high school. Plus, it gives you the hope you need to keep getting up and carrying.

Lastly, remember high school is weird. Some people peak in high school, others don't find their feet till Uni or beyond. Don't be too hard on yourself.


Sorry bit longer than expected (and quite preachy), but I hope this helps you out a bit


PM me if you ever wanna talk. Send a message my way.
And remember, you matter. You're awesome. You're beautiful. Stay strong, the world will get better.

May The Force be With You.
   
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MirandaBaker Offline
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Re: Friends... - October 31st 2018, 08:19 AM

To my mind, you just need some time to adapt to new people. I'm sure that soon you will find friends. To make your life easier you can try essaycentury.com. Here you can find many good essays and reports which can help you in your studying.
   
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Re: Friends... - November 9th 2018, 03:57 PM

friends change
   
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Uledankrlia Offline
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Re: Friends... - November 12th 2018, 05:13 AM

This happens, the environment is changing, it is normal - you will find your people
   
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