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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Omar the Lobster!
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My Ex's Girlfriend - January 15th 2009, 12:41 AM

I hate to explain myself about this situation, but to keep it short, my ex's new girlfriend and I are friends. We're not like a lot of people, the bunch of us, and I'm so glad to be her friend. She's this stunning, amazing, shining young woman, full of wit and craze and she's just generally someone that I love to be around.

My only thing is that sometimes she talks about my ex and things about herself that she doesn't feel confident about it. It doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, I'm just really afraid of giving her advice. Mostly because I don't want to convey that I have feelings for my ex, because I certainly don't. But also, I hate to see her when she's unhappy. Honestly, it hurts me inside that she feels the was she does sometimes. So I've been trying to tell her that she is, in fact, this beautiful human being that has changed my ex's life for the better, and she's the best thing that has happened to him, I think.

But yes, my major concern is that if she comes to me with anything concerning her relationship with my ex, something I say might be misconstrued and I might lose her forever. I want to be able to talk to her about these things, especially when she vents about things he does that I know all too much about, so she has someone to relate to. I just don't know what to do when tells me certain things, asks me certain questions. As her friend, I want to help, but at the same time, I don't want to offend her or give her the wrong idea.

What should I do?


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Katrina Offline
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Re: My Ex's Girlfriend - January 17th 2009, 06:37 AM

Hi Bernadette. Ah, what a marvelous friend you seem like. [:

Well, this girl does know that you dated her boyfriend in the past before, right? I'm sure that when she asks you for support or advice about that topic, she realizes you might not be able to say all that you want to simply because of your history with the guy, and how it relates to her. However, if she ever does put you in a position where you feel uncomfortable, I personally would just say, "I know this might give you the wrong impression, which I'm totally not intending to do, but..." Or if you're too uncomfortable to actually go on and give your opinion on something, just say "I don't really feel, because of our history, I can give you a good answer to that!" However, I'm sure you'll make the right decision--you sound very concerned about her right now, so I'm sure she cares for and depends on you greatly. Good luck.



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Omar the Lobster!
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Re: My Ex's Girlfriend - January 17th 2009, 07:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katrina View Post
Hi Bernadette. Ah, what a marvelous friend you seem like. [:

Well, this girl does know that you dated her boyfriend in the past before, right? I'm sure that when she asks you for support or advice about that topic, she realizes you might not be able to say all that you want to simply because of your history with the guy, and how it relates to her. However, if she ever does put you in a position where you feel uncomfortable, I personally would just say, "I know this might give you the wrong impression, which I'm totally not intending to do, but..." Or if you're too uncomfortable to actually go on and give your opinion on something, just say "I don't really feel, because of our history, I can give you a good answer to that!" However, I'm sure you'll make the right decision--you sound very concerned about her right now, so I'm sure she cares for and depends on you greatly. Good luck.
Thank you so much for your response! <3 I appreciate it so much.


Hey guys, like jewelry that can withstand the blow of a sword? Jewelry that can put up a fight? Check out ChainCreations!

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Lorelei Offline
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Re: My Ex's Girlfriend - January 17th 2009, 07:56 PM

I agree with Katrina; you sound like a great person and an amazing friend!

Don't be afraid to tell her that you're not comfortable talking about your ex with her. It's very understandable and I think she would see the reasoning behind it.


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