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Mom's drinking again - June 20th 2019, 09:28 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of substance use, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My mom was an alcoholic for pretty much all of my childhood. It was a huge factor in the destruction of my parents' marriage and it really messed up my sister and I for a long time. I lived with my mom until I was 25. By that time her drinking was worse and we butted heads a lot. I was really, REALLY glad to move out.

Late last year my mom revealed to me she was in AA. I was ecstatic. I was so proud of her for finally getting the help she so desperately needed. I had dreams our family, although we were living apart now, might heal. I thought things were looking up. I knew she had a couple of slip ups, but I thought she was on the right track.

Fast forward to now. I'm staying with my mom and her husband while things with my family are stressful. I come home after therapy last night at ten and dinner was only just getting on the table and I knew, KNEW what had happened. Sure enough, mom was acting loopy and there was a mostly empty glass of wine on the counter.

I was so angry and sad. I just went to my room; I couldn't engage. This throws me right back into how I felt as a child and I am so upset and disappointed. I know alcoholism is a disease and I know recovery isn't linear. Hell, I recently had a slip up in my self harm addiction. But I just...I really thought she could beat this, at least long enough for the two weeks while I'm here.

I probably sound pretty selfish and awful. I should just be grateful she's letting me stay with her and I don't get to comment on what she does in her house. But this really hurts. How do I cope?


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Re: Mom's drinking again - June 23rd 2019, 10:27 PM

Hey Jordan,

I've been meaning to reply to this but haven't had the time. It seems like you are currently in a tough situation and it's unfortunate that your mom has made the choice to start drinking again. One thing to consider is that this might be a slip up and she might go back into recovery. I think that with any addiction relapses happen but there are a lot of people who overcome the relapse and go back into recovery.

If your mom continues to drink there isn't much you can do to change the situation. It's up to her to stay clean. You only have control over yourself and how you decide to react to her drinking. I can understand how her drinking might bring up a lot of feelings and I would suggest that you figure out what you need to make it through your time staying with her. If you have to you might need to figure out a way to be out of the house when/if she is drinking. A few years back I used to go sit at my library or starbucks so I could stay out of the house.

Do you have any coping skills to deal with the feelings your mom's drinking might bring up? Hopefully you're able to get through the next few weeks with your mom with not too many issues.


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