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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Wendi
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Maman - January 2nd 2021, 09:33 PM

This evening Maman shocked Julie and I by her asking us to consider allowing her to return to her home in Monaco, leaving the pair of us to continue living in this massive villa that we inherited.

We are upset Maman should want to leave us. We are quiet, unassuming, welcoming of her friends who pass by, we give her much privacy and Maman has not given us one tangible reason why she wants to leave!

She is not working because of Covid, so we suggested she continues living with us - she is, after all, our dear Maman who adopted us - and rent out her home. She could get at least €30,000 per month in rentals easily! If not more. An average apartment rental without a sea view can cost €4,000 per month at least!

We cook for Maman, we clean house and take care of it and, she wants for nothing at least for the privacy alone. We are never in her way, never detracting her international charisma by being in her face. Last August she used our villa as a location set for her camera crew and our villa was filmed for a perfume advert and photographed for a popular glossy magazine. We let Maman have all the income, all the fame, all her friends - we stayed out of her way. So...we do not understand why she wants to leave us. We know she loves us, so why - go?

We don't know for sure. Maman may change her mind and stay. Whatever, I'm on the cusp of my finals next week, Julie is still sick with Long Covid and Maman wants to bugger off.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Maman - January 2nd 2021, 10:02 PM

We could go back and forth exploring potential answers to 'why?'. However, it would all be speculation and the only true way of finding out would be to ask her.

I understand the difficulty when a family member has to leave. As you've said, you know she loves you and your sister, so think positively. She's going away but she will be coming back. I know it can be difficult to see the positives in such a situation, especially with your upcoming exams and having to take care of your sister... but see this as a challenge to overcome. One hoop to leap through. Once you've gone through it, it's just another testament of strength. It may not seem like it right now, but in the end, it will be.

Besides, your mum may change her mind and stay, as you've said.


Life is for living, not for losing.
   
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Re: Maman - January 2nd 2021, 11:34 PM

Thank you for helping, Sarah. I appreciate your wanting to help in any way you can.


Maman has decided to stay, and we are grateful to her. We asked her why? but all she said was, we are growing up and may not want her around so much.


We rushed to her. We were crying "of course we want you to stay irrespective of us growing up still. We need you, and love you and need you to guide us along our precarious paths!"

Maman knows we have the whip-end of PTSD, and we have triggers, and I hvae bodily scars from the past where our mother hated on us...That set our beloved Maman off, so we all had a big cry!


She's staying. Thank goodness because i don't think Julie and I could cope without her.


Hugs. Thank you again
   
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Re: Maman - January 3rd 2021, 07:08 PM

I'm glad to hear she's decided to stay, it sounds like communication was the key to figuring this out which is wonderful news.



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Re: Maman - January 4th 2021, 12:26 PM

It was indeed! Maman doesn't always say what she should, but now we're all fine and she's staying. And renting out her house which she'll get a premium for because rentals around here are as rare as hen's teeth.


Hopefully she'll give up modelling. We dislike the arty crowd she mixed with.
   
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Re: Maman - February 18th 2021, 01:56 PM

Sadly our maman became unbearable to live with, refusing to move away from Julie and Tommy when asked to go outside to smoke, she became abusive. I don't take kindly to being sworn at. I won't tolerate bullying of any kinds, not to Julie or to Tommy. We've been good to her, our behaviour caring and kind, not making noise other than enjoying music from the radio, but hardly having the volume knob turned up. I've cleaned up maman's mess, gagged at saucers being used as ashtrays, and tidying the galley after she's blitzing it.

Tommy has been well behaved, preferring to be as far away from our maman as possible. She sits up at the helm, or down in her cabin, headphones on and crocheting, or knitting a jumper for herself. We love our little sister. Though cheeky she's never been overtly rude. She's been enjoying her time with us, but winces every time our maman is near her. That is not how things should be. So when Tommy told us our maman has been shouting at her, that was when I stepped in.

Since maman's sisters have left, she wrote us yet another letter, written quite unpleasantly referring to Julie, so my sister and I unanimously decided, with Tommy, to formally rescind her adoption of us by contacting our lawyer to start proceedings. Documents are being prepared to be sent for for maman to sign. This eventually will get her out of our lives and hopefully, allow us a less volcanic relationship since all maman has done during our vacation was make our lives a misery.

She has her own home in Monaco so she can come and go. Also she has an apartment in Paris, and a penthouse suite in uptown New York and also one in Manhattan. So it's up to maman to go wherever she feels like, without vexing me at every opportunity.

There comes a time when all this unnecessary crap and aggravation has to stop.

We intended heading down to Sicily, but Mount Etna has been spewing ash and volcanic lava from her south crater, in addition to the volcano's main crater firing boulders everywhere. Even now in the far distance there's a foul band of yellowy-grey smoke spanning the horizon to the south-east. Instead, last night we unanimously agreed to embark to Gibraltar, but may have to take a tender to the port unless a mooring space becomes available. The captain of our yacht will ascertain that hopefully soon. Yachting fuel is much cheaper at Gibraltar and our captain needs to tank up.

The distance between the Port of Cagliari to the Port of Gibraltar is 785 nautical miles. Cruising comfortably in good sea conditions since 01:00 this morning, we should be there in 1.9 days. Gibraltar is mostly duty-free and that can mean even cheaper whisky if I get lucky. But importantly I want my sisters and our girl crew to thoroughly enjoy ourselves, only without our 2-legged Calder Hall fogging up the cabins.


“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” - Thomas A. Edison.

Thomas Edison tried over two thousand times to invent the lightbulb.
   
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Re: Maman - February 18th 2021, 10:44 PM

It's saddening to read that your mum has taken such a sour turn with you and your twin sister. More so given that she rescued you from your biological parents and their behaviour.

I have to wonder why she behaves this way. Why adopt two young people only to behave like this? Surely there must be a very specific reason for it? Either way, at least now she and her sisters have gone, you and your sisters can enjoy your time at sea, visiting places and being away from it all. You and your twin sister adults, and I have no doubt you will take good care of your younger sister. And quite well.


Life is for living, not for losing.
   
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Re: Maman - February 18th 2021, 11:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rivière View Post
It's saddening to read that your mum has taken such a sour turn with you and your twin sister. More so given that she rescued you from your biological p'Maman', as she insists on being named wherever we are on the internet only took us before her agent gave her a fashion house contract, and it's been renewed so there is no room for us in her life.arents and their behaviour.

I have to wonder why she behaves this way. Why adopt two young people only to behave like this? Surely there must be a very specific reason for it? Either way, at least now she and her sisters have gone, you and your sisters can enjoy your time at sea, visiting places and being away from it all. You and your twin sister adults, and I have no doubt you will take good care of your younger sister. And quite well.

"Maman", as she insists on being referred to wherever we are on the internet adopted us before her agent gave her a new and highly lucrative fashion house contract. Since it's been renewed, there is no room for us in her life, she wrote, in a brutal letter left on the breakfast table for one of us to find.


Neither Julie or I have a clue what churns around in her head apart from megabucks, and she's earnt a huge amount since she was invited to walk for Simon Jacquemus in the early years. Maman's pictures are all over Google, thousands of them. She has her fingers in every sector of the cosmetics business, clothes, perfumes and anything else that is going to line her pockets with a great deal of platinum.

She smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish and has a short fuse. Equally I have when unreasonable sworn at, pushed around and hearing our little sister being shouted at. At one time our maman was all sweetness and light. Now she's acting like an ogre. Do you know, but I don't care for her anymore. She's buggered off and can stay away. We have had more than a skinful of abuse, and there is no love lost.

As if our birth parents weren't nasty enough making Julie's and my life a misery there is no way life is going to repeat itself. I am determined to beat the clinical depression hanging over me, giving it a good thrashing by pounding the yacht's gym's treadmill and pulling weights. Having felt better for a good workout, then I am more than able, with dear Julie, to take care of our little Sparky and make the best of this forthcoming job while our youngest makes a place for herself at her new school.

Sarah you have been very kind to me. Julie is very appreciative, too. Though it's not going to be easy without a mother, somehow we'll pull through because on this vacation voyage, we've gained three good friends who are going to house share with us - there is plenty of room in our massive villa, and the girls can then rent out their apartment so they can afford university.

Once we come home by the end of next week, we''re planning to take time for family and work through any difficulties with the help of a counselor. Not a therapist since us twins have had difficulties in the past, so a counselor has already contacted us, so we can have a few sessions individually. And, we'll go from there.

Julie and I are looking forward to starting our new jobs. I may not be so active on the forums by then, but let's wait and see. Once again, thank you for all your help and guidance.


“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” - Thomas A. Edison.

Thomas Edison tried over two thousand times to invent the lightbulb.
   
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