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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Garyl Offline
What's next, little man?

Jeez, get a life!
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Name: Eli
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Not sure what decision to make - July 6th 2021, 12:50 AM

Every year my extended family on my mom's side has a family reunion in August. We didn't go last year because of COVID, but since all of us (immediate family) are fully vaccinated my mom feels safe going.

I've gone on and off over the years. Sometimes they're a bit much and I don't feel up to dealing with it, but I just had a birthday and when my Grandmama called to wish me a Happy Birthday she said she really hopes to see me at the reunion.

Here's the issue: I came out as transgender/non-binary since I last saw them. About a year ago I started HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) and that's had an impact. I look different and sound different now. This isn't so much a problem with my immediate family, but my mom's family are very conservative and Southern Baptists. They already don't approve of my "lifestyle" (i.e. the fact I am queer/pansexual and polyamorous). I am worried me being trans will make them very uncomfortable. Scratch that; I know it will. I want to see everyone, but I don't want to alienate myself, either. What do I do? My mom says she'll respect my decision either way but I want to make the right one. Thoughts?

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Golfing girl Offline
Be Creative. Always Dance.

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Re: Not sure what decision to make - July 9th 2021, 03:22 PM

Hello Eli,

I am so sorry about this and hope that you will be okay soon. First you are a lovely person inside and out, if other people cannot see this, then they are the one's who lost out on getting to know you. I know it can be hard when it is our family and friends. Would you be able to try to have on a outfit that you love and makes you feel happy and when you see everyone, just try talking to the one's who you like. Also no matter what anyone says, try not to get upset because you are very sweet. I know that when we are around family and friends that we haven't seen in a while, it can be hard. Try to calm yourself down before you see everyone, think of something funny or listen to some music and then go see them. Then when you leave try to find something to help you to get you're mind off of this for a while, going for a walk or listening to music or watching movies or TV shows or playing with you're cat or something else that you enjoy doing. I hope everything goes well for you when you go. Sending you to help you to feel better.

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Astro04 Online
Not a n00b
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Re: Not sure what decision to make - July 12th 2021, 07:49 AM

That's always a crucial point for your life. Only the time will fix them: There's no other way.
Start to hide your attitude to them and act as before, so they will think there's nothing to worry about, meanwhile do what you really like.
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decision, make

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