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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BeautyKills :O Offline
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I hate her >.< - June 2nd 2009, 04:16 PM

Okay so my mother is very very very VERYY strict. I mean it, she's really strict. I'm sixteen already and she wouldn't even let me haveee an extra ear piercing! Seriously WTF? I got the whole point that she doesn't want me having a boyfriend yet until I'm EIGHTEEN! But this?! Everyone in school has an extra ear piercing. Why cant she let me have one? Okay, I ALREADY have one. I had to go do it behind her back and after a few months, she knew about it. Now, she's been checking on my ears for the extra earrings I have. AND SHE JUST CHECKED IT A FEW MINUTES AGO AND TOOK MY EARRINGS! What's worse is that, she held my ears too tight! It's fucking red right now! I hate her so muchh. Why do all parents are scared of their children growing up? Why can't they let us be what we want to be? Seriously, I'm sixteeeeeeeen! I can't even go out with my friends anymore because she thinks they are the reason why I had an ear piercing behind her back and she also thinks that they're a bad influence to me because a few months back, she knew I was having a boyfriend. I really cant take it anymore. I'm the kind of a person who doesn't like being controlled. I hate being controlled. I'm sick of this mad house too. I hate my family Any advice to help me feel better or a solution to my problem? Thanks in advance!


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Re: I hate her >.< - June 2nd 2009, 04:52 PM

I'm sure she doesn't mean anything bad by it. But I know how it would feel if I were in your shoes as well. Have you ever tryed to sit down and calmly talk to her about your feelings toward all her strict rules. Or doesn't she listen? My parents are strict to, so I know what it feels like.

I think she just is doing it out of love though. She wants to do what she thinks is best for you. Maybe, if you tell her that you are mature enough to make some of your own decisions in your life. Don't go behind her back because that just show's lack or respect and immatuirty in her eyes. The more you do that, the more strict she'll get. Try and listen ( i know it's hard :P) and show her that you are mature and maybe she will be more leanent.


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Re: I hate her >.< - June 2nd 2009, 08:08 PM

...Your mom is strict. I see.
I feel the same way !, but APPERECTLY your parents have a say in what you do. WHICH makes no sense to me because most of the time, they say no [to things like this] BECAUSE ITS UGLY TO THEM. they should let us make our own choices to our bodys [as long as it doesn't put you in danger], they should respect it.
I got my belly peirced &nd my mom doesnt know,
im not saying to sneak around like that,
but it caused me to rebel. lol.

Try reasoning with her, like extra chores, etc. For your friends-> tell her that the extra peircing is for you. not them.
   
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Re: I hate her >.< - June 2nd 2009, 11:11 PM

Hi Nora,

It really sucks when parents don't want to let their kids go, but your mom is still your mom and she does care about you. And while you are staying in her house, she does still have the right to lay down the rules.

It may not be fair, but I can't imagine everyone at school has another ear piercing. There's bound to be others who don't. And when you are an adult, your parents can't say anything about the matter.

If you have your ear pierced already, though, then maybe you could take out the earrings at home, and just wear them at school or when you're out. That way you can still have them around everyone else, but you are still listening to your mom at home.

Being a teenager sure has it's frustrations, but don't worry too much. It wont last forever.

Nat.


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Re: I hate her >.< - June 4th 2009, 05:16 AM

Maybe she thinks you won't be able to take care of an extra piercing.
Maybe she doesn't think an extra piercing is important enough to go through the process of getting one.
Maybe she's trying to teach you to express your individuality through your personality rather than through your appearance.
Maybe she's trying to help you focus on more important things than the way you look and the way you accessorize.

I know how frustrating parents can be sometimes, but they have reasons for what they do more often than not. Just not ones that are very transparent. I don't know your mother, but I'm guessing that she actually loves you like crazy and just wants you to be the best you can be. You might not agree with her ways, but she really cares. If she didn't, she wouldn't say anything about the boyfriend or the ear piercing or anything else. She's fed you, clothed you, housed you, and taken care of you for sixteen years, it's okay for her to set rules.

My advice is to show her that a) you're responsible, mature and that b) you respect her and deserve her respect. Sorry, but going behind her back to get a piercing she said you couldn't get is not a good way of doing that. Be polite. Be considerate. Really listen to what she says and try to understand her point of view more often. Do well at school, help out around the house, and really really try to comply with her rules. Show her that even if you get a little more freedom, you'll act maturely and not get yourself into trouble. Getting the piercing was a step in the opposite direction, but there's still time for you to make up for it.

Good luck with your mom, and take a breath the next time you feel overwhelmed. :]


be thankful for what you have
and you'll end up having more.


   
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