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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Hear my whispers in the dark..
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My cousin played a really mean trick on me... - June 5th 2009, 05:47 PM

So I haven't talked to my cousin since Christmas. She is a drug addict and an alcoholic and at one point, she got me hooked on both as well. I stopped on my own, but she's been in and out of rehab for about a year. I love my cousin, but I can't be around her, because I don't want to be sucked back in by it all. She randomly called me last night. She said that she was doing well, and has been sober for awhile (which may or may not be true), and she's living with her boyfriend and some other guys. Early on in the conversation, she said that she showed one of her friends, Tino, my facebook and he thought I was hot and wanted to talk to me. I was really flattered and speechless, so it was a bit awkward, but he did say that he thought I was hot. We were talking about our jobs, and he said "well, I'm a stand-up comedian, and an actor". After he said that, in the back of my mind I thought "maybe this is all an act", but I didn't want to think that way. At the end of our convo, I said "you should add me on Facebook!", and he said "I just did.". I talked to my cousin for a few more minutes, and she was giggling about how flustered I was. After I was off the phone, I checked my facebook, and there was no friend requests. It really was just an act...

So I feel extremely stupid. I have always had self-esteem issues. And I've always been really shy when it comes to boys. So to have someone build me up like that, to the point where I almost start to feel okay about myself, only to figure out that it was just a joke, just really really hurts....

I don't know what to say to my cousin, the next time she calls. I never expected this from her. Family isn't supposed to treat you that way...


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My cousin played a really mean trick on me... - June 5th 2009, 10:02 PM

Hi Jen,

I would tell her just what you said here. You hit it right on the nose- what your cousin did was mean and hurtful, and that is not something family should be at all. Next time she phones, let her know how you felt about what happened and that you really didn't think she would ever do something like that to you.

Next time, no matter how flattered you feel, I do suggest actually meeting them in person. It's difficult to control feelings that way, but I think it would be better to just play it safe and decide how you feel after actually talking to the person face to face. Just be careful around your cousin. I think it's a good idea that you keep your distance, and that should probably go for her friends too. Don't be judgmental, just know when to keep your distance.

All the same, your cousin probably didn't mean to hurt you as much as she did. I think that it was a very mean joke, but I do think she intended it to be a joke. As I said before, let her know how you felt about it and give yourself some space from her for a while.

You don't need other people to tell you that you are a good person, Jen! Be confident in yourself. You deserve to feel good about who you are and how you look

Take care and stay strong. If you ever want to talk, I am always up for a PM.

Nat.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Hear my whispers in the dark..
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Re: My cousin played a really mean trick on me... - June 7th 2009, 02:44 AM

She called me 3 times last night!! I didn't pick up, because I really didn't want to talk to her, but I can't avoid her forever. You'd think she'd feel bad, and not try and call me, but I don't know what she's up to. I don't want to fall for anything again. My gosh I want to hit her!!


Life isn't about worrying,
That's a waste of time.
And life isn't about being perfect,
It will never happen.
Life is about finding yourself,
And finding people who accept that person.
.


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My cousin played a really mean trick on me... - June 7th 2009, 03:12 AM

Obviously she isn't worth your time. You seem really cool, and I can tell from your avatar that your really pretty.For her to treat you like that is not okay. Eventually, you should talk to her, tell her you forgive her, even if she doesn't ask for it. Clarify that you will not let her walk all over, but you do love her. If this continues, maybe you should stop talking to her. Good luck!


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