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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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theunforgiven Offline
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Need Help Dealing - June 8th 2009, 01:39 AM

Today was my high school graduation. I drove there with my mom and sister, and they refused to walk to the lobby with me from the car and had me walk a few feet behind them.

After the ceremony they took me out to dinner and basically ignored me the whole time and then yelled at me for texting. After dinner, they took me back for presents and they gave me a small statue of a donkey with "smart ass" written on the bottom.

Over the past four years I've gotten over a 90 average, been on the honor roll, in honor society, and received an award for outstanding character but I'm still a disappointment to them and to them, that's all I'll ever be.

How can I stop feeling like a failure and just move on and not be affected by my parents?
   
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esfdhtfy Offline
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Re: Need Help Dealing - June 8th 2009, 01:46 AM

This definitely seems like a tough situation. It seems like you've done very well for yourself, and you should be very proud of that. Have you tried speaking to your family and telling them how you feel? Maybe they don't even realize the way they're behaving, thus not realizing that they're bothering you in any way. Even if it might seem completely obvious to you, they may be completely oblivious to it.

It's difficult to avoid feeling like a failure if you're not receiving support from those who are closest to you. How are your friends? Do they make you feel the same way that your family does? Despite how difficult it may to be, you need to ignore the negative talk in your life. If someone tells you that you're going to fail, try ten times harder to make sure you succeed. Like I said, it seems like you're doing fairly well for yourself and you should be very proud.


SUP BRO.
   
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Re: Need Help Dealing - June 8th 2009, 10:20 PM

First of all, congratulations on graduating! It sounds like you’ve been doing really well these past four years and if anyone needs a high five right now, it’s you! Forget your family for a moment here and take pride in what you’ve done

I don’t think it’s fair at all that your mom and sister made you walk behind them and didn’t talk to you at dinner. Next time they try something like this, then step forward and walk where you want, be confident and start the conversations with them. You can initiate the talking and you can certainly walk where you please. You have a lot to feel proud about right now- you don’t need to worry about these kinds of things.

It’s completely normal for you to want your parents to be pleased about all that you have accomplished, but do you know what’s even more important? That YOU are pleased with all you have accomplished. You have not completed these past four years for them, you’ve done them for YOU.

So keep your chin up! And remember, if they’re calling you a smart ass, what does that make them?

Nat.


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