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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Angry NO PRIVACY!! - January 15th 2009, 06:14 PM

My mom goes through EVERYTHING. My UNDERWEAR DRAWER isn't even private, and i think it should be!!! She goes through it all the time!! She doesn't even understand how mad it makes me!!! I can't do ANYTHING without her snooping through everything, and it sucks. I want PRIVACY!!!!


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 15th 2009, 06:16 PM

If your mum doesn't understanding how frustrating this is for you, have you tried speaking to her about how irritating or unfair it is? Maybe she thinks it's okay and you simply have to outline to her that your private things are none of her buisness.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 15th 2009, 06:18 PM

Have you tried talking to her about this and explaining to her that you're at the age now where you'd like to have some privacy. I don't understand why she would purposely be invading your privacy, so maybe she just doesn't realize that she's doing it or that it bothers you. I definitely think you should talk to her about this and let her know how you're feeling about this privacy issue.

Best of luck. :]


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 15th 2009, 06:33 PM

Sorry, I shouldn't have said she doesn't understand.
It's that she doesn't CARE.
AT ALL!


now you're here and everything's changing
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 15th 2009, 06:41 PM

Is it possible to get a lock for your room, or a lockbox to keep the more private things in it?
   
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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 15th 2009, 06:42 PM

Hm... Well, that kind of puts you in a bad position. So she simply doesn't want to give you any privacy? Is there another family member that you could talk to about this to possibly persuade her to give you more privacy? Does your bedroom door lock? I mean, since she's your mom, all you can really do is try to convince her to allow you more privacy or have someone else convince her.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 15th 2009, 07:02 PM

Do you know why she's this protective over you? I do agree with Jamie, a box with a lock on it is quite a good idea. Is there any member of family that she listens too and maybe help to knock some sense into her?


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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 15th 2009, 07:12 PM

To be fair at 15 you won't have privacy, your parents will control your life untill you move out.

Also she does it because she does care, not because she does not.

If she did not care, she would do nothing.
   
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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 15th 2009, 07:58 PM

I know this will not be the answer you're looking for, but I think that your mother is 'snooping' with good intentions. It's a huge invasion of privacy, I agree, but I think that this is your mother's way of trying to find things out before they get out of hand or hurt you. It's an attempt to protect you from bad things, if you may. Not annoy you, although it does.

Anyhow, I suggest that you just keep trying to talk to her about it. Let her know that you understand why she does these things, but that you feel like your privacy is being invaded each time she does it. Reassure her that if there would be anything to worry about, that she would be the first person you'd talk to about it. If you can think about any other facts that can't be debated, use them as well. Be sure to use "I" language when bringing them across, though. Tell her "I feel like ______ when ______", rather than "You're _______ and it ______!!!11".

On addition to that, as mentioned, you could talk to a family friend or someone who's close to her about this issue. Explain to them how you're feeling, and ask if they can mention something to your mother for you.

When it comes down to it the choice is up to your mom, but I do understand your frustration and hope that you guys can get something worked out.

Take care.



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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 17th 2009, 07:40 PM

I agree that it's unfair and a huge invasion of privacy, but she has the best of intentions. Is it possible for you to work something out with her that she can look through your room but only if you're there? Or you could get a little safe or a locked box. (Preferably with a combination lock that only you know the combo to.)

I know it's frustrating, but my mom gives me a ton of privacy and I get upset that she knows nothing about me. The grass is always greener and all that. Hang in there!

P.S. I love your username =]


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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 18th 2009, 05:24 AM

Keep trying to talk to her about it. I don't know where you live, but technically children do have the right to privacy, and I know that it isn't fair for her to go through your stuff. You need to sit her down and say to her, I need some privacy, do you not trust me?




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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 18th 2009, 08:23 AM

I don't think its fair for her to go through your stuff and I can see why your angry BUT I can see where your mums coming from. She obviously cares about u! If she didn't she wouldn't care what you were up to and she wouldn't bother checking up on you. I think you should sit down and talk to her. She does care, thats obvious. Just explain that it bothers you that you don't have privacy. Say you know its her house and she worries about you but you're old enough to have a bit of your own space respected
   
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Re: NO PRIVACY!! - January 18th 2009, 08:42 AM

i no exactly how you feel when i leave the same room as parents right away they call my name and ask me i was doing and if i am in my room with the door closed they yell at me for having the door closed


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