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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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I feel really bad :[ - June 9th 2009, 10:49 PM

So, my sister is, let's just say, below the average when it comes to... well.. everything. I'm not saying this to be mean, it just really is the truth. She struggles in every subject, and she has a tough time understanding things. We took IQ tests the other day together and I got a 125 while she got an 87. I feel so so bad for her. She gets really down about it alot. Idk, it just makes me really sad and I felt like I needed to tell someone about it because my friends kind of tease her a bit, not meaningfully but they don't understand that she has a slight learning disability so they always say "duh" statements to her.
   
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Re: I feel really bad :[ - June 9th 2009, 11:45 PM

It's really nice to see that you care about your sister as much as you do. Believe it or not, there are not many older siblings like you. You should be very proud of yourself. I'm sure that your sister really appreciates having such a wonderful older sister. [:

If your friends treat her like that, why don't you say anything to them? Even if they see it as a 'joke' that doesn't mean that you should feel obligated to stand for it if it truly bothers you. Honestly, if I were in your situation, I'd feel the same way that you do.

My advice to you would be to confront your friends about what they're doing. Tell them that they're bothering you and that you don't think they're being very nice, especially to someone who is very important to you. It might not be an easy thing to do but you have every right to tell them how you feel regarding this.

As for your situation with your sister, don't feel sorry for her. Sure she might not be quite as intelligent as you or someone else statistically but that doesn't mean that she's limited in any way. Some people are book smart and some people demonstrate intelligence that is well beyond grades and school. Does that make sense?

When I volunteered in a local elementary school, I worked closely with a young boy who had autism. He was one of the most intelligent people I know, especially at age eight. Many people made fun of him; he got teased a lot. Kids can be cruel sometimes, I know.

Just keep bringing your sister up and if she ever gets down on herself for any reason at all, be there to life her spirits. Good job with what you're doing so far. You're being a great sister. [:


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Re: I feel really bad :[ - June 10th 2009, 01:57 AM

Just remind her that it doesn't matter if she isn't book-smart, she's still got her own skill and talent. And if your friends get to being stupid about it, I'd just go ahead and tell them very seriously that it's not cool to do that.
   
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Re: I feel really bad :[ - June 10th 2009, 05:46 AM

I have a sister with downs syndrome so I know how you feel. Just try not to make those jokes and let her think about other things. Try to see if she really has a passion for something and help her achieve a goal with that passion.
   
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Re: I feel really bad :[ - June 10th 2009, 09:43 PM

Hi Lauren,

Your sister is really lucky to have such a good sister who cares about her so much I know she has been feeling down about her learning disability, but the important thing is that you care about her and that she is trying her best.

Is there any way that you could help her with her school work? It may help her to understand better if she has some guidance from you. Maybe you could start a homework session with her where you could both do your work together. That way you would be there if she ever has any questions.

As for what your friends are saying, I think it's your job to make them aware of how your sister is feeling. They probably don't realize how much those comments are really lowering her self esteem. Talking to them would help communicate those feelings. They shouldn't be putting her down, but it is even worse because she is feeling down about this already. They should think about what they are saying before they say it.

Continue to support your sister. I'm sure she appreciates it.

Nat.


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