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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Good Morning Offline
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Unhappy I want to be able to run my own life. - June 11th 2009, 03:58 AM

Here we go with the rant:

I'm just sick of everything lately. I can't stand being near my family, especially my own mother. Everything out of her mouth lately has been "Sydney, go do this," and I'll admit I usually provide a snappy reply where I usually tell her I'll get to it eventually. Then this leads to "I told you to go do something, but you don't have to bitch at me!" Alright, I'm SORRY, okay? I'm just absolutely sick of her telling me what to do 24/7 - I want to be able to do it WITHOUT her telling me. And I can - I just procrastinate a little. But I am sick of being told what to do. I feel like nobody can trust me anymore.

Yeah, and I'll admit I'm having really bad mood problems lately. I can attribute it to a lot of things, but I guess the two main ones are me starting a birth control system and my boyfriend breaking up with me. But then again, I'm pretty sure he broke up with me *because* I was so moody. Plus I have a history of being depressed - mind you, not clinically, because my parents just disregard it as a "phase" and ignored all possibilities of me needing to see somebody about it. I even flat out told my mother one time that I wasn't a happy person, but what does she do? She tells me something like "oh, you'll get better, tomorrow's a new day." Yeah right. What more do I have to say to get my point across that I am NOT happy?!

I feel like I'm just trapped in this house. I ran away last month because I got so frustrated being here, but did anybody care? No. It took them almost five hours to even call me and ask where I was (and at that point I was dehydrated and experiencing some heat stroke) - but they were home the whole time I was gone. And when I got back, mom was vacuuming, dad was working, and sister was on the computer. Gee, thanks for noticing I exist.

At this point I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know what the point of being here is, I don't know if anybody actually cares, and I don't know if anybody can relate. I swear I feel like Rose off of Titanic - "Poor little rich girl, what does she know about misery?" I'm in the exact same position, only I'm bound to my family instead of Cal. People assume I'm happy because my family is so well-off, but I'm not. Oh, and I don't dangle off the backs of ships either, but that's beside the point.

I want to be free, but I'm so sick of people telling me I can be free in two years. Two years is an eternity for me, especially with these people I'm forced to live with. I want to be free to go where I want, when I want, with the people I want. I hate hearing about all my friend's "adventures" because their parents have no restrictions when mine are the most overbearing parents on this planet. And this might be a tough subject for me to discuss, but I've gotten a significant increase in sexual desires lately, and I feel that if I bring it up (somehow), my parents won't care enough or permit me to do anything about it. It's not like I want to go out and do drugs, drink, or get pregnant - I just want my life back.

In the past, I dressed gothic, I listened to angry music, I dyed my hair crazy colors, and I had a self-harm issue. That was the extent of my "rebellious" phase, but could it be back? Is this teenage rebellion or something more? Sorry if this turned out more like a story than a question, but I had to get it all out to somebody. I just want to know if anybody can relate to it or just let me know what's going on between me and my family. Thanks.
   
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Re: I want to be able to run my own life. - June 11th 2009, 04:53 AM

I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes my parents can act like that as well. My mom always tends to tell me to do something and then sits there and yells until I do it. I don't think they mean anything by they just want something done and we don't do it, it kind of frusterates them. I know it's easier to snap at her but why don't you just calmly tell her, "okay, I'll do it." I know how you feel about wanting to be able to do things on your own without her having to tell you to do them. That's another thing you really need to sit down and calmly talk to her about!

Sometimes we all get moody and it seems as if you have a right to be. But just try to control it. It's hard but not everybody deserves to be snapped at, even if we think they do. I understand that it must be very difficult for you right now and I'm sorry your parents disregard your feelings as a phase. Why not try one more time talking to them and telling them your feelings are not a phase and that you would like them to take you seriously for once! Sometimes parents would rather not believe that their kid is going through something, simply because they don't really understand. Just tell them, that your not happy, you haven't been happy and you really feel as if you need to see somebody, so that you can be happy. Parents want their children to be happy, so maybe a little bit of a reality cheak would work here!

That must have sucked that they didn't even notice you were gone for over five hours and still didn't really care/notice you came back. I'm sure it doesn't mean they don't care, once again maybe the denial of something being wrong.

I relate to the "Rose" thing as well. People have told me plenty of times that I should be happy but I wasn't. People just don't understand because their not in your shoes. They don't live with you, they don't have to deal with what you have to deal with everyday, so they just make assumptations. Just don't listen to them, if you feel justified to your feelings then you probably are. If you really want people to stop then you have to tell them why you feel the way you feel, so they don't think that everything is so perfect. Let people in?

I know that you want to be free and two years seems like a really long time. I thought the same thing. I'm about to be seventeen, so I basically have one year left. It went faster than I thought it would. I found something I enjoyed doing and people I enjoyed being with, that was something that was completely okay with my parents because they really had no reason to say no. Could you find something like that? Get involved with some of activety that you gets you out of your house. That's always something. It's also something that you should sit down and talk to your parents about. Tell then that your sixteen years old and you feel it's time that you start getting some freedom and making some of your own choices. Tell them that you would like to spend time with your friends and do stuff on your own. Parents try to protect and they don't realize they are really smothering you. Try to talk to them, see if they grant you some freedom.

You know I went through the same phase with the "gothic" clothing, "angry" music, etc. For me it was sort of a cry out for help because I changed drastically. Then everything started falling into place and I went back to myself.... could that be what it is for you? A cry out for help?

It's okay, sometimes we all need to rant :P
If you ever need somebody to talk, don't hesitate to PM me, I'm here <3


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

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Re: I want to be able to run my own life. - June 11th 2009, 05:04 AM

Living at home with parents can suck, but it beats living by yourself at this age. Being sad is a part of being human and you'v got to know the difference between teenage hormanal sadness, depression, and just bad moods wich all feel pretty much the same, apart from the amount of time they last.
Learn to do the chores you hate when you feel good and just chill when you feel bad, instead of the other way round wich most people tend to do. Work on not worrying about small stuff, as long as you have a house, food water and no terminal ilnesses everything will be ok if you just ride it out.
Don't expect things to be anything other than the way they are, including yourself and other people.
Parents restrictions are often too harsh because they grew up in a much safer world and over-estimate the danger of todays world, it's just different times.
I moved out of home when i was 16, still don't have the things most peopel see as "basic" (toaster, dryer and what not). So enjoy the free ride while you've got it, parents don't pay for everything forever,but they will be much more willing to help you out later on if you're greatful for the things they provide for you now.Sometimes i put up with the wrath of my mum just to come by and have some soft drink lol.
So enjoy the small things if you can, and spend the frustrating teenage years getting in touch with who you are and setting up a good base of friends and intrests.


"How can you get a goose out of a bottle?"
Imagine that a baby gosling was placed inside one of those big glass bottles with a little opening that you see model ships in, and raised inside, until it is fully grown and can no longer fit out through the neck of the bottle. How can you get the goose out of the bottle? Without hurting/killing the goose.

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Re: I want to be able to run my own life. - June 11th 2009, 05:13 AM

Wow, thank you both for understanding where I'm coming from. You two really hit every issue, and I appreciate it sincerely. Cassie, I really want to thank you for understanding the whole Rose/Titanic comparison. I just hate being trapped in a life where nobody seems to understand me or my issues, but what you said really helped. And Manda, your story of moving out at 16 certainly put a new perspective on it for me. I guess I never really stopped to think about how good I actually do have it here. You two really did help a bunch, and I'm truly grateful. Wow, but I should be headed to sleep now. I'm not very awake at 1:15 am. I guess I'll check back tomorrow to see if something new came up.
   
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