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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Louise xxx Offline
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When an Absent Parent returns to your life - June 14th 2009, 07:10 PM

My father has recently come back into my life, I've never known him.
With his history of abusive behaviour, I just dont know what to do.
It's not a nice situation to be in.
   
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Re: When an Absent Parent returns to your life - June 14th 2009, 07:54 PM

You need to get together with him, have him come over or have him take you to lunch and explain to him that you don't know what to feel for him, you don't know how to deal. Tell him how you are feeling about his absence and his sudden return, let him know it won't be easy for you.
Really think about it too. Do you want to try and have a relationship with him or do you not want one at all. Think about it a lot and weigh the options and the pros and cons.
If you want to try and have a relationship with him then tell him it isn't going to be easy for him that he will have to prove him self slowly that he can be the father he wasn't before.
If you don't want a relationship with him tell him that. For what ever reason you choose not to, tell him that and explain that to him and answer any questions he has why.


Always remember to put your happiness first.
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Louise xxx Offline
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Re: When an Absent Parent returns to your life - June 14th 2009, 07:58 PM

Thanks for your help.
Your right, I do need to think carefully.
Will probably make a list of pros and cons.

Louise
xxxxx
   
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Re: When an Absent Parent returns to your life - June 14th 2009, 08:02 PM

Your welcome, just make sure your final decision is the decision you are truly happy with.


Always remember to put your happiness first.
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Re: When an Absent Parent returns to your life - June 14th 2009, 09:22 PM

Hi Louise,

This is a really confusing time for you, and I think that coming up with pros and cons would be a good idea. Think about whether or not you want your father in your life after he's been away for so long. Really, it is up to you, not him, so do what is right for you.

The major thing that comes up in this situation is comfort. You need to question whether or not spending time with your dad would be comfortable for you or not. If you don't think it would be, then don't see him, if you think it would be fine or you could handle it, then maybe give it a try.

If you do end up seeing your dad and spending time with him, I would suggest you do so in a public place. If he does have a history of abuse, it would be better for you to be around people at all times around him. Take the precautions that would make this safe for you, because your safety is always important.

Take care.
Nat.


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