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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy why do we have a secret email? - June 17th 2009, 04:43 AM

A friend and I have had a complicated past. We both very much loved one another, but we have moved on and are still friends. We still care about one another a lot. We both have significant others that despise one another (my fiance cant stand my friend, and his fiance cant stand me) but they respect our friendship. But why does he still give me an email she knows nothing about when our friendship is only a friendship? The email I am sending him is only a proof read for me to send to a professor. I dont get it.
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Re: why do we have a secret email? - June 17th 2009, 04:57 AM

Some people can get really jealous of their partners' relationships with people other than them. Although she may respect your relationship, it doesn't seem like she's coping with it well. This is likely due to a low self-esteem on her part. This kind of thing isn't uncommon.

If the whole secret thing is bothering you, why not talk to your friend about it? Although you know what the email is about, your friend's fiancee doesn't know. To avoid problems, perhaps, he doesn't tell her about the emails that you two send back and forth. I can see his reasoning behind it; I'm sure you can too.

Like I said, you know that the email you're sending is innocent. I think your friend just may want to eliminate any suspicion that may arise from the sending of emails between the two of you, especially if his fiancee is as insecure as she is made out to be. If it bothers you or if you're really curious, talk to him about it.

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Re: why do we have a secret email? - June 17th 2009, 05:42 AM

Thank you for responding. It truly means a lot. I use to see this guy while they were together and even though she suspects she really does not know. I get a little not understanding because he claims she knows we talk, but he is always secretive about it, like the emails and if we get together its always in a parking lot. It just reminds me of how we acted when we were together.
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Re: why do we have a secret email? - June 18th 2009, 01:19 AM


You know, it probably has more to do with his fiance than with anything else. My brothers Wife is very jealous of his ex-girlfriend(even though she married my brother and his ex-didn't). His wife is so jealous of his ex that if any one mentions her name(not even in an affectionate way, non of us could stand her) she flips out. Anyway, your friend probably does it so he doesn't have to deal with his fiance's anger or low self-esteem. If it really bother's you I suggest talking to him and asking him about. You could just tell him something like 'if this is going to cause problem maybe..." or something. Idk. Handle it however you want. But, believe me you are not alone out there alot of girls are jealous of their boyfriends(or husbands) ex's (no matter how stupid that is)

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