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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Question parent troubble - June 18th 2009, 06:55 PM

Okay, this isnt exactly the worst problem i have with my parents, but here it goes, My parents are obsessed with looks, they acctualy said, if you dont look good, your not a good person! i've tryed to reason with them, because it bugs me. some of my friends they've called homely and said are not good people as a result. As well i've been told every day for my entire life, your ugly taylor, but thats a problem for the depression forums , anyhow, any advice on how to let them know that, in scientific terms, their hypothsis is flawed?
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Re: parent troubble - June 18th 2009, 07:18 PM

well Taylor, idk how to prove that their hypothesis is flawed but no one is ugly. i know im gonna sound VERY religious right now but this is what i believe "God made everyone equal, and he doesnt make junk"
that has made me stronger every day because i go through similar problems like that. stay strong Taylor =)
   
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Re: parent troubble - June 18th 2009, 07:21 PM

Each to their own really. If that's how your parents view people then so be it but you shouldn't let it get you down. One persons opinion on your looks is just one persons opinion when there is millions of people out there who could think completely different.

But, looks really aren't everything, that's just what's on the outside and it's what's on the inside that counts because that's what makes you, you.
   
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Re: parent troubble - June 18th 2009, 11:05 PM

I really don't know if there is anyway to disprove your parents theory. You could try to look up 'ugly' people who have accomplished good things but they would probably come up with some excuse as to why that person doesn't count.

Really the only thing I can suggest is don't listen to them. Bid your time until you can get away from them(if that is what you want) and don't take anything they have to say to heart.


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Re: parent troubble - June 19th 2009, 01:33 AM

First what is their definition of "good person".

I'm sure you could look up and find plenty of people out there who are ugly (by your parent's standards) who are nobel prize winners, great scientists, doctors, relief workers, and a million other things that I would consider to be a "good person".

I'm sure you could also look up and find people with great looks who are murderers, rapists, liars, cheaters, abusers, etc.

You could print out the pictures of a whole bunch of "ugly" people and a whole bunch of "good looking" people, and have them identify which ones are "bad people" and which ones are "good people" based on their looks alone. Make sure to throw in some good looking criminals and ugly pediatricians =)
   
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Re: parent troubble - June 19th 2009, 06:46 AM

It's not worth your time to try and prove your parents wrong. Ignorant, self-centered people will remain ignorant, self-centered people, no matter what you may say or do to change their minds. So stop worrying about what THEY think and dwell upon what you think. If your self-image isn't a positive one, work on changing that. Go out, have fun, make friends, and prove them wrong by living a happy, fulfilling life. Don't attempt to prove them wrong with words... prove them wrong with your actions.






   
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Re: parent troubble - June 19th 2009, 07:43 AM

That's a sick mindstate!
Looks do not reflect how a person acts or thinks, that's the only thing I could think of telling them. :\ That's really horrible that you have to live with that. I'm glad you know better and are proving them wrong!

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I'm sure you could also look up and find people with great looks who are murderers, rapists, liars, cheaters, abusers, etc.
I agree fully. Look at Charles Manson, lured teenage girls in by looks and charm and brainwashed them to do his bidding. o_o ....I say you should look up individuals similar and present to them !



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Re: parent troubble - June 19th 2009, 09:58 PM

Hi Taylor,

I think that what your parents are saying to you and believe is not only ridiculous, but extremely ignorant. You really can't judge a book by its cover, and going by looks alone really doesn't say much about a person.

But what really matters here is what you think. There is no rule book that says you need to follow what your parents believe or go by what they think. You need to come up with your own set of values. If you realize that what they are saying is wrong and just downright mean, then that is for you to believe and act on.

I don't know if there are any ways to change your parents' mind. The important thing is how you behave and how fairly you treat people. If they say something you don't agree with, then state your opinion. You have a right to say what you think, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to change their minds. You can try (and the picture idea is a good one) but there is no guarantee.

You are a good person, Taylor, and I can say that without ever setting eyes on you. Now doesn't that say something important?

Nat.


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