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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Power Cosmic Offline
Outside, huh?
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Name: Janos
Age: 30
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Location: Dundee, Scotland

Posts: 3,922
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Join Date: January 6th 2009

Flatmate... - June 25th 2009, 06:07 PM

Okay, my flatmate and I have had a wee bit of a falling out, shall we say.
Long story short, he's basically managed to have debt collectors barking at our heels since he owes the landlord 480, and he got really pissed off at me when I tried to explain this to him, all because the night before, when I was in a massive downer, his precious ego was hurt because I "ignored" him when he wanted to use my laptop.
I mean, for one thing, it was a feat of willpower I didn't tell him to go bugger off, I mean, what right does he have to demand my laptop like that? But I just mumbled that I was okay when he starts rudely knocking on my door.
Thing is, when I'm feeling really depressed, I tend to try and occupy myself by doing some kind of mindless chore and this time around, I was using a tile saw to make a hole in some terra cotta flowerpots I got for this very purpose so I could make a wee hidey-hole for one of my snakes.
The reason why I'm mentioned this is that this morning he left a letter outside my room door that said how he wanted a couple of games he'd lent me back and how he's pissed off that he thought I was trying to kill myself (since it's happened before) so he went to check how i was and I apparently ignored him.
What annoys me is that I didn't, I did tell him to go away, but he apparently didn't hear me over the sound of the sawing, that combined with the fact that I suspect he was knocking on my door for longer than I thought, since there's a chance I missed it due to the sound of the saw.
Thing is though, he's still in a childish, idiotic huff with me, and to be honest, I really couldn't be bothered with making up with him, except superficially...
I mean, he's ditching us all, forcing to go through loads of buerocratical crap in order to find another flatmate by the end of July, and that's when he's leaving, otherwise, we're splitting his section of the rent between us, which isn't exactly fun...
I'm basically wanting to placate him to the point where he isn't gonna do anything stupid like ditch us without paying the amount he still owes the landlord since it would have to be split between me and my other flatmate, who isn't even here...

I mean, that's what sucks the most about it. No matter what, if the the problem flatmate decides not to pay the landlord back that money, we're gonna have to pay it, since there's absolutely nothing that can be done if he doesn't pay...
It sucks =(
I mean, I've explained the situation to the landlords, and they're just like "push him to pay that money", but wth, what can I do? If I push him too far, he just ditches us, worst case, attacks me..

I dunno what to do with this....any words of advice/encouragement would be appreciated

"My one desire is for peace -- peace for everyone"

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Flatmate... - June 25th 2009, 06:17 PM

sounds like you're just gunna have to bite your lip and go through the motions of being nice to him and trying to make up to get the money out of him. at least it's not that long until he's moving out.. just try and make peace with him until then? i can't imagine how annoying it must be though, i mean i fell out with someone on duke of edinburgh and that was just staying in a tent with them for one night.

you've spoken to the landlord, who doesn't sound particularly helpful.. but in reality your arguments aren't his problem, and he probably doesn't care so long as he gets his money.

i don't really like the whole letter writing thing. i don't think two friends should have to communicate through letters, he should be adult enough to sort things out with you by having a conversation at least.

could you get your other flatmate to talk to him? maybe he'll have more luck pushing him for the money?

..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..

  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Power Cosmic Offline
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Re: Flatmate... - June 25th 2009, 10:43 PM

My other flatmates with his parents in Newcastle though
Gah, thing is, I was cleaning up, just hoovering the stairs and stuff, and he kinda approached me and asked if there was any bin bags lying around so he could help with the cleaning...
Thing is, I know him well enough to know that that's probably as close to an apology I'm gonna get, getting help with chores...
Thanks for replying though Elle =) I appreciate it.
Hopefully, things will work themselves out in time...

"My one desire is for peace -- peace for everyone"

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
I've been here a while
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Name: Nat
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Re: Flatmate... - June 28th 2009, 12:54 AM

Hey Janos,

That's quite the strange apology your friend went about giving you. I do hope that things work out and he is able to pay for his share of the rent. It's not fair at all that he would ditch and get you to pay for him.

Sometimes even adults get in childish, huffy moods. The best thing to do is just give your flatmate some time to cool off and realize that what is going on is just plain silly. If he has any sense, he'll sharpen up to it and find out that it was all a misunderstanding and that it is his responsibility to pay his share of the rent.

In the meantime, just try to be cordial to one another, and don't let him get away without paying. It seems that he is starting to cool down a bit, but I wont be surprised if he takes a few more days.

I hope everything works out for you.


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