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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TheLittleNinja Offline
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Name: Claiiiiiiiiire
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I'm losing everyone... - June 26th 2009, 05:01 PM

Hey Ho.

So I guess this is pretty much your typical message, and it is normally the sort of message that I would answer myself....but I'm stuck.

I'm in the last year of high school. I have been at the school since the first year along with all of my 'close' mates. Then at the end of the second year someone i knew from Primary school joined our class.

Thinking I would be a good person I helped her out a bit when she first joined, as she was bullied at her last school.

Now, three years later, everyone hates her, they don't want nothing to do with her. To be honest she even annoys me, she is ALWAYS RIGHT, and everyone else is like a lower status than her (Whatever we have/own/do she can do it ten times better)

So basically all of my old friends have gone off. One friend has gone and found new friends because she felt left out. My other two best mates are dating.

Today in our tutor they all went and sat on a different table I got really upset, and they were just like: 'oh well there was junk on the table'

-For one they could have moved the junk
-Two they could have said 'oh come over and sit with us'

But they didn't. Why? Because they all resent me. They don't want me near them because the other girl will follow me wherever I go and they hate her.

I spoke to my mate today, and he was like, 'look, you will always be my friend, but we just don't liker her, and my gf is really peeved at her atm'

So I don't know what to do. I ditch the one girl and get all of my friends back kinda, but then she will turn vile towards me saying...'Oh I was there when all the bad stuff happened to you and now you throw it back in my face, blah, blah'

Or, I stick with her, and become I total loner who is dependent on her as my sole friend.

I'm the sort of person who doesn't want to upset anyone, but I'm just really losing it on this one.

Plus if i do go back with my old friends, I will still feel pretty lonely because my two bezzies are dating, and I wont want to get in the way of their time together.

I just feel SO alone.

Plus I have things going on again at home, which after three years has come back again. And I just cant deal with everything. I go to school, and have problems with friends, then I go into town today, with a Dad who nearly passes out.

I don't know how to be even a little bit more happy anymore, theres too many things I have to worry about. Not to mention the fact it's exam season for me.

I don't know.
Any suggestions, or friends (lol) would be gratefully Appreciated.

Sorry for the length :s

Claire x


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Re: I'm losing everyone... - June 26th 2009, 05:46 PM

It seems like, no matter what, remaining with this one friend of yours will cause you to be unhappy, simply because of her b*tchy manner. There is, however, a chance that you will be able to find happiness with your old friends again if you ditch her (which, in all honesty, probably should have been done a long time ago).

You have the right to hang out with whomever you want. You could try rekindling your old friendships, or you could try to connect with new people through those old friends. You could befriend new people in your classes, or join some clubs and meet people that way. If all else fails, and you still feel lonely during your last year of high school, then at least there is the comfort in knowing that this is your LAST YEAR of high school! =D Soon, you'll be able to attend college, work toward a future career, and meet others with similar interests.

As for what's going on with your family, I'm sorry. =( I hope the situation improves, whatever it is. If you'd like to contact me via any method, I'd be more than happy to talk to you for a bit. =) Even HelpLINK Mentors need someone to talk to at times.






   
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Re: I'm losing everyone... - June 28th 2009, 01:02 AM

Hi Claire,

The truth is, there is no one way to make everyone happy about the situation. What I suggest is doing your best to stay friends with all of them by splitting up your time and explaining the situation to your friends.

I don't think it would be fair at all to ditch that one friend just because everyone else doesn't like her. How she is behaving towards others can be changed, and the best thing you could do for her as a friend is to let her know that other people are being turned away by how she is acting. Let her know what she is currently doing and what she can do to fix it so that people don't get upset. She may not even know that she is bothering so many people by how she is acting. You would be doing her a favour to let her know.

As for your other friends, just talk to them and let them know that you aren't trying to bother them by having this other friend hang around you all the time. They obviously know that you are their friend, so plan times to hang out with them and spend time with them. See if they will put up with your other friend at school, and then outside of school you can hang out with just them. Manage your time between friends, and this should work out with both groups.

If your dad is passing out at home, then it would be best for him to see a medical professional. They will be able to best help him out. I know that juggling a bad situation at home and a frustrating one at school is tough, but stay strong. I know you can get through this.

If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me any time.

Nat.


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