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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Katie Lydia Offline
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They have my stuff :( - June 27th 2009, 05:24 AM

Usually i stay with my friends atleast once a week and sometimes i leave my stuff there (usually i can't help it if we're in a rush) but my friends haven't offered to return my stuff, they have a blanket, my dvds, my clothes and a pair of jeans and a hoody that cost me ALOT of money.

Another problem is recently i went there to get changed for a party and when we were leaving i left my make up all in one bag and when i went back the next day for my make up, my foundation and bronzer was gone, i DEFINETLY didn't take it with me, ive searched my house just incase but they definetly have it. I really mind that they've took my stuff because it is expensive.

How do i ask them without accusing them if they've took it? And how can i say "btw i want every single item thats mine out of your house but im still your friend."


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 27th 2009, 04:06 PM

Hi Katie,

It does sound like you may be in a bit of an awkward situation! But really, those things are yours, and you should go and pick them up if they are so valuable to you. It's not fair that they are keeping things that are not theirs.

The best way to go about this is to just tell them that you know you've left some things at their house and you'd really like to pick them up. Let them know exactly what you are looking for, so that they will be prepared when you come to pick them up.

If you left the things at their house, then you aren't accusing them of taking them. You know you left them, and you want to pick them up. There is nothing wrong with that.

Next time, make sure you take everything home with you, and then you wont need to worry about this

Nat.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 27th 2009, 04:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ktwashere View Post
Usually i stay with my friends atleast once a week and sometimes i leave my stuff there (usually i can't help it if we're in a rush) but my friends haven't offered to return my stuff, they have a blanket, my dvds, my clothes and a pair of jeans and a hoody that cost me ALOT of money.

Another problem is recently i went there to get changed for a party and when we were leaving i left my make up all in one bag and when i went back the next day for my make up, my foundation and bronzer was gone, i DEFINETLY didn't take it with me, ive searched my house just incase but they definetly have it. I really mind that they've took my stuff because it is expensive.

How do i ask them without accusing them if they've took it? And how can i say "btw i want every single item thats mine out of your house but im still your friend."
They haven't offered to return it? No. YOU haven't offered to pick it up. You keep saying its their fault, no it isn't. You're the one who left it. Its your responsibility.

They haven't taken anything. Just ask them if you've left ot.
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 27th 2009, 04:29 PM

Hey there Katie,

You have responsibility for your own posessions and so I do believe that you should be the one who is responsible for getting your posessions back. You should be offering to pick up your stuff because you are the one who left it at your friends house. It would be unfair to expect them to return your things because you forgot to take them with you. I'd suggest that you go to your friends house again to pick up your things.
However, it's unfair if they did steal some of your make-up. Stealing is not right, but I wouldn't recommend that you accuse your friends of stealing if you don't have any proof that it's definitely stolen. You should mention that you put all your make-up in your bag and now it's gone. It is always possible that your friends may have taken your make-up by accident, they may have borrowed it or you could've misplaced it.

Good luck with getting your things back.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 27th 2009, 04:31 PM

i kinda agree with Laura about the stuff you left there, the owness is on you to go and get it, not on them to give it back to you. just ask them when it's convenient for you to pop round and pick up your stuff.. i'm sure they're not gunna mind, seeing as it is your stuff.

about the makeup though.. don't accuse them, but ask them.. something along the lines of "i know my makeup was there.. so give it back" is just going to piss them off, especially if they haven't taken it.


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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 27th 2009, 05:51 PM

Call them and say you left a few things there. they wont think you guys arent friends anymore just cause you want your stuff back. tell them you cant find your bronzer and tell them you think you left it there. just drop by and pick your stuff up.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 28th 2009, 10:36 PM

Ok my fault for not being clearer on this.

I have hinted "O btw do you have my jeans/hoody etc." They say yea then change the subject.

So i become MUCH more clearer and text her. "Btw can you drop off my jeans & hoody cause i need them washed" I had no reply back. I have asked her to come and get my my stuff and she says yea but doesn't do it!!

I asked my friend about the make up and she said they don't have it, but i really don't believe them, there's no way i have my make up. It was parts of make up for your face which is also weird. I know for a fact they have it, i think her girlfriend has maybe taken it and im so angry cause its very expensive make up.


Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acid stains you
Drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live.


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Last edited by Katie Lydia; June 29th 2009 at 12:25 AM.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 28th 2009, 10:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ktwashere View Post
I have hinted "O btw do you have my jeans/hoody etc." They say yea then change the subject.
So i become MUCH more clearer and text her. "Btw can you drop off my jeans & hoody cause i need them washed" I had no reply back. I have asked her to come and get my my stuff and she says yea but doesn't do it!!
You left the clothes at her house, you should go and pick them up. If she isn't going to drop them off for you, you need to be proactive and get them yourself.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 29th 2009, 12:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie View Post
You left the clothes at her house, you should go and pick them up. If she isn't going to drop them off for you, you need to be proactive and get them yourself.

I have asked and she changes the subject. And im scared of nagging and also saying "Btw i want every single item thats mine out of your house but im still your friend."


Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acid stains you
Drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live.


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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 29th 2009, 09:25 AM

The best thing I could suggest is the next time you are over there be like 'hey I need my clothes" and they will have to give them to you.

I don't know what to tell you about the make-up though, sorry.

Best of luck and if you need anything else feel free to pm me.


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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 29th 2009, 10:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ktwashere View Post
Ok my fault for not being clearer on this.

I have hinted "O btw do you have my jeans/hoody etc." They say yea then change the subject.

So i become MUCH more clearer and text her. "Btw can you drop off my jeans & hoody cause i need them washed" I had no reply back. I have asked her to come and get my my stuff and she says yea but doesn't do it!!

I asked my friend about the make up and she said they don't have it, but i really don't believe them, there's no way i have my make up. It was parts of make up for your face which is also weird. I know for a fact they have it, i think her girlfriend has maybe taken it and im so angry cause its very expensive make up.
Just pop by unnexpected and get the stuff! Seriously, stop relying on other people and do it yourself.

If they are certain they dont have you make up, yeah they may be lying but the might actually be telling the truth. You can't blame other people when it's your stuff.
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  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 29th 2009, 11:30 AM

Ask them if you can pop round to pick up all the stuff you left there and you could ask if they could get it ready all in a bag for you. Make a list of things you DEFINITELY know you left there and then check through the bag when you get home ticking items off the list. If they've missed something off then you could call them and ask if they have you're [item].


   
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Re: They have my stuff :( - June 29th 2009, 12:24 PM

If you're asking them for your stuff back and they keep changing the topic, how about telling them you'd like to come and pick your stuff up at a certain time on a certain day and asking if that's okay with them? If they say no, ask when would be okay - and if they avoid telling you, suggest another time. If they try to change the topic, just say you're sorry to keep asking but you really need your stuff back and would like to get it sorted so that you can both forget about it. It might also be worth double-checking you don't have anything of theirs at yours still by accident - it sounds like you're probably careful to get stuff back to them, but just in case anything's still there, they might be more willing to return your things if you give them anything of theirs back at the same time.

I hope you get your things back soon
   
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