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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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KKTerry Offline
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Question Don't know what to do.. - June 29th 2009, 08:18 PM

Okay, so this might not be the best place for this, but it could fit in a few of the other areas, so i'll put it in here i guess.

I need some major help. I don't know what to do!

One of my closest friends has gotten into a lot of things recently, she's started drinking heavily every weekend, and when she drinks she smokes, not only cigarettes, but pot too. She's also been cutting herself for awhile now. I'm really not sure what to do, i want to help her, and show her what's going to happen, but i just dont know how, and im scared to tell her parents because i think they'll think its my fault, as they already do not like me, and think that everything she does wrong is my fault. Please help me..
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Re: Don't know what to do.. - June 29th 2009, 11:50 PM

Maybe try hanging out with her more? At some point you could start talking about how those habits negatively effected someone you care about. Don't directly relate it to her though.

Good luck!

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Re: Don't know what to do.. - June 30th 2009, 02:00 PM

Hi there. I think I'm going to move this to Friends and Family simply because I feel that's primarily what this is about.

Okay, so while doing all of this is her choice, it's always good to have some *positive* encouragement to not do these illegal things. Have you ever talked to her about what kind of habits you feel she's falling into? If not, I would start by doing that. It might seem like somewhat of an awkward conversation, but I do feel as though it would benefit the both of you. Tell her you want to help her because you know these things aren't good for her. Hopefully, she'll take that and run with it.

As for telling her parents, perhaps you should wait just a bit, observe and see if anything changes after you talk, and *then* go seek more serious help? No doubt she's going to get mad at you - in fact, she might defriend you for a while - but as you probably know, it's always better to lose a friendship than a friend altogether (from alcohol poisoning or anything like that). Take care.

Best of luck to both of you.

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