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rachel.x Offline
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Friend issues at school... - June 30th 2009, 09:40 PM

Hi. I need some advice. I'm not a confident person and I am extremely self-conscious which therefore gets in the way of how I am around people.

I joined a new school in September for the 6th Form, with some of my friends from my old school. These friends haven't really been the best of friends. They have treated me like crap many times and I feel like I don't have a true friend who I can talk too when I need help or advice etc. When I moved to this new school I thought it would get better because I would hopefully get to know more people, but this hasn't happened. All the people who went to the school that I am not at before already have their friendship groups and stuff so I haven't been able to make any good friends really there. I wish i had gone to college now because then the majority of the people going there wouldn't know anyone so we would all be in the same boat and then it would have hopefully been easier to meet new people.

I hardly go out with my so called 'friends'. People say that the teen years are meant to be the best years of your life, but I'm not having the best years of my life, I'm having the opposite. I see people around me going out at weekends to parties and stuff or hanging out with their friends but I don't get to experience that at all.

I was wondering if anyone had an advice they could give me, bearing in mind that I am not the most confident of people.

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Katrina Offline
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Re: Friend issues at school... - July 1st 2009, 01:49 PM

Hey there! [:

I hate confidence issues. I wish everyone in the world could be confident with who they truly are, because confidence is the most beautiful thing ever, and because everyone really must be good at heart. However, I do realize that I live, in my mind, in some utopia that will never exist, so alas, I digress.

I believe that these two issues - the lack of having trustworthy friends and the confidence issues - go together hand in hand. Once you start making new friends, you will become more confident, but you will maybe not make that many friends until you do become confident. What a vicious cycle, eh?

I do think that making new friends is easier than gaining self-confidence, as twisted and upside down as that sounds. So, perhaps you could start with that. Have you ever considered joining any sort of club or team at school? It's always a lot easier to make friends in an environment that you're comfortable in, you know? So, try that.. I met my two best friends on my dance line, and I wouldn't trade 'em for the world!

Rachel, I'm not liking the sound of your "friends" - people who treat you like crap are not friends. So, that's just something to consider. Also, I know people say that the teen years are the best years of our lives, but that's such BS. It's apparently proven that you feel your best in your twenties, so I'm definitely bankin' on that.

Anyway, I hope things shape up for you soon. ^_^

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Re: Friend issues at school... - July 2nd 2009, 05:38 PM

Hi Rachel,

Being a teenager is tough sometimes, and it is usually older people looking back on their teen years who say that those times are the best in their lives. But there are always possibilities for issues, just like at any time in life, so don't bother basing your time off of other peoples' opinions. The best time for you is whenever you decide

Confidence is a tricky thing sometimes, and I can understand how you feel. I've been in a 'new school' situation twice now, and it is difficult to make friends sometimes. You are right in saying that a lot of people have groups of friends already, but I'm going to let you in on something, okay? The majority of those groups wouldn't mind having one more person.

Don't be afraid to just up and ask a few people if they'd mind if you sat with them at lunch, or try joining a club or team at your school. There are a lot of opportunities to meet with new people at your school, so be sure to check and see if there are lunchtime clubs and activities. Sometimes confidence can be a spur of the moment thing, so if you stick yourself in a situation where there are new people, there's a good chance you'll end up talking to them.

Hanging out with people who treat you badly is not a good idea. Those do not sound like friends to me. You don't need to put up with that from them, so don't take it. Try hanging out with a different crowd who actually treats you with respect.

Take care and be strong.


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