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Resplendent Offline
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Question Wondering how my dad will take me moving out. im torn right now - July 1st 2009, 07:15 AM

Heeey! well just a little back story. Im 19 years old and im going into my second year of college.Im still living at home with my dad. we live alone. My aunt and her family live next door but we dont really talk to them alot.

When i was 13 my mother passed away leaving my dad to care for me himself. the only reason hes stayed here is because of me. Im pretty sure hed rather be downsouth but because im the only thing he has left. he stayed here and raised me. We have our argumnets but who doesnt.

I love my dad to death and im so grateful for everything he has done for me. But recently ive realized he stilll believes im 13 years old and cant swallow the fact that im actually growing older. recently me and my close friend ive known for years decided we should move out together into an apartment so we can get the college experience. Living on our own paying bills. doing what we need to do without someone breathing down our neck. I know for a fact thatbeing out of the house that ive been in my entire life would only push me to be better and more independent.

Its not like i wouldnt come home all the time and see him so its not like im leaving him. i would only live maybe 10 mins away and come see him all the time and hopefully vice versa. The thing is i feel like im being ungrateful for leaving. im the onyl family member hell talk to and he goes to work for me. to take care of me and pay the bills. i recentl;y got a really good job being a pca and itll be easier for me to take care of myself. i dont want him to feel like im abandoning him or leaving him in any kind of way i want to make hm realize i want to do this to get away and find out what i can do with my potential start a new. people raise their children so they can live comfortable happy lives and hes raised me to be a very strong good hearted woman. i give him full recognition of everything hes done for me.

I dont know how to approach him about this because we were never really close but we just had that bond that we didnt really need to talk much so taht we could be happy. Hes a very strong opinionated man taht is also very hard headed like me. I need to move out and break from old habits that ive had. start to take care of myself so when hes not around anymore i wont be tottally oblivious of what to do. This si really hard. Im torn and i dont know how to bring it to him so that he knows im still his babygirl but i need to do me and have something of my own. any advice would be helpful =) thnks
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Re: Wondering how my dad will take me moving out. im torn right now - July 1st 2009, 02:03 PM

Hey there.

Ah, moving out, eh? That's always a big decision to make, but it sounds like you've made up your mind, so I definitely support that. Plus, I think you're moving out for all the right reasons: you'll have to do it sooner or later, so you want to learn how to take care of yourself. Plus you mentioned some other good reasons, so I'm definitely glad you're mature enough to do this, because let's face it, some other people I know are definitely not.

I think you need to approach this as soon as you can so that your dad has some time to digest this information before you actually move out. You should approach it lovingly and delicately, but firmly. Because, no doubt this is going to be hard for him, but it is time for him to let you go. Explain to him exactly what you explained to us - you love him, and you're so grateful to him for everything, and you'll obviously want to come back and visit him whenever you can, but that you feel like this is a decision you need to make. I think/hope he'll be understanding about this; he sounds like a wonderful father.

Best of luck, and let us know how it goes.

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Re: Wondering how my dad will take me moving out. im torn right now - July 2nd 2009, 05:50 PM


Moving out is a big step, but one that your dad must have known you'd take eventually. Growing up isn't something you need to feel ashamed of, and it sounds like you're thinking through the process of moving out very responsibly. It may take a little while for your dad to realize that you can take care of yourself, but I'm sure he'll be proud of you.

I think you should really talk to your dad about this and break it to him gently. Let him know your plan for moving out, where you'd like to live, how you are going to take care of yourself and pay the bills, and how often you will come home and visit him. He may be worried that you wont know how to fend for yourself, so it's your job to reassure him and prove that your are responsible and grown up.

Maybe take your dad out for dinner and offer to pay for it and then discuss moving out over the meal, or ask if he wants to go for a walk with you and talk about it then. Or you could just approach him at home to talk things over. You probably know his habits and will probably know when he is available to talk about things like this.

You have a good plan, and I have ever confidence that you will be able to make responsible decisions. Good luck to you and enjoy yourself.


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Re: Wondering how my dad will take me moving out. im torn right now - July 2nd 2009, 06:26 PM

thanks so much for the support. =) it helped alot
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