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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Name: Robin
Age: 30
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Dad and Stepmom Getting Worse - July 5th 2009, 07:16 AM

Ever thought to yourself that a person can be a wonderful parent, but a horrible husband? That's my dad. He never should have gotten re-married three years ago (especially to a woman who is constantly changing up her drugs for her bipolar disorder). I like my stepmom, but sometimes she's simply intolerable. So more often than not, I either side with my dad (while maintaining a decent connection with my stepmom), or avoid both of them completely until it blows over.

Today, I spent my time with my stepmom, and we actually got along very well. My dad, on the other hand, avoided us when we all went to the fair, and I ended up taking my stepmom home in my car, while he followed us home a few minutes later. Long story short... I intended to go to the scene of the fireworks show on my own, and meet my dad and stepmom at the beach "whenever they [got] there". My dad ended up leaving the house without my stepmom. She called me, and when she figured it out, she started crying. Now, technically, I should have told her what my plans were, and why I couldn't give her a ride (heading back to my apartment afterward, not going back to their house), but on the other hand, my dad DITCHED her. And he totally meant to do it, too. It's his fault that she missed out on the biggest part of the fourth of July.

So she didn't get to see the fireworks, my dad ended up going home and thus not seeing the fireworks, and I watched them all by myself. Not satisfactory for ANY of us, and now I don't know what to say to my stepmom when she calls me back. I want to tell her that I'm sorry, but I don't want to take the blame for it all, or even take the blame for half of it. Which she'll probably do, because I didn't say "Bye, I'm leaving now!" while she was still in her pajamas and obviously not ready to leave with me at that exact moment. I assumed my dad would wait for her until she was ready. Apparently, he didn't even bother to give her that option. I also don't know how to deal with my dad, following this incident. He did a very cruel thing, argument or not, hurt feelings or not, and I feel like I'm seeing a new side of him. I want to be loving and supportive, but not encouraging of this kind of behavior.

Any tips from adult children who have been caught in the middle of arguing parents? I'm 20 years old, living away from home (45 min.), but I'm still dependent on my dad... so yeah. I can get away from them, unlike a minor, and yet I can't cut them out of my life entirely.






   
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