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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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cassie.x Offline
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can't live like this.(RANT!) - July 9th 2009, 06:25 PM

Hey guys;

Sorry to bring it up again, i know iv'e mentioned this before.

My living situation with my mother is getting worse every day.
Her awful mood swings, and never knowing what mood she's going to be in is getting me more and more down every day.
She takes her moods out on everyone initially, but then always ends up HATING me, making me feel like i'm the smallest person in the word, And praising my brother (I love him, but he's put the family through alot worse than i have, by FAR)

My father has mentioned how he hates coming home, because of her moods, and how he tries to find exuses to get out the house, but then she uses this to scream at him..
He's also asked me about what ''Bipolar'' is, I told him i don't know much about it, and he said he thinks my mother might have it.
But no-one can even camly speak to her about her moods and nasty words, never mind this.

My father has also told me, that my mother has mentioned to him, she feels that me and my father are always against her.. And we are ''out to get her'' =|
But she makes us closer, because when she's screaming at me, she blames my dad for me being a ''screw up, bitch etc".

Today for example, i was meant to be going to see my grandmother in hospital, it was really important i visit her today, since idk when else i'll be able to, she had agreed to drive me to the hospital.
She started screaming at me to hurry up and clean so we can leave, i did the cleaning, it wasn't good enough, she screamed at me, i then asked her if we could go now, since she was in such a hurry..
She then said ''All i do is try my best to stay away from you, i never want to speak to you, can't you just f**k off?"
And stormed out...

I'm really upset, my gran is upset and needs her family..
She'll think i dont care enough to make the effort for her.!

And this house is just so negative.. Iv'e tried speaking to her, but i can't do anything. Her words make me feel so weak, i wanna curl up and cry.
She's seen what she does to me, and it doesn't phase her.

Anyway... it felt good to rant about this.

Any advice is welcome. sorry so long..x

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Strider Offline
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Re: can't live like this.(RANT!) - July 9th 2009, 06:54 PM

Hi Danni,

I'm really glad that you were able to get that out and feel better by talking about it. Having a moody mother is always really difficult to deal with, and it sounds like you and your dad are having a really tough time with her lately.

Have you tried talking to her and letting her vent a little about what is wrong? Sometimes people act negatively towards others when something in their own life has gone wrong or they are upset about something. Could it be that your mom is stressed about something and needs to get it off her chest?

Whether she is stressed or not, I think it would be a good idea for her to see a doctor about it. A medical professional would be able to find out whether or not she does have something like bipolar. Have your dad try and talk her into going to the doctor as well. If she does not want to go, then I suggest that either you or your dad talk to a doctor about it and find out ways that you can deal with it and maybe calm her down. They may be able to give you some more information.

As for seeing your gran, is there any way your dad could take you instead? Or maybe you could get a ride from a friend or take the bus? Try phoning her up and letting her know that you care a lot about her, but you haven't been able to get a ride from anyone to see her. Just say that you're doing what you can to find a way, but it may be a little longer than you expected. I'm sure she will understand.

In the meantime, talk to your dad about how your mom is acting and vent to each other a bit. Sometimes it helps to talk out loud about these kinds of things, especially when you have a family member who feels the same way. No matter what, how your mom acts is not your fault, so don't let her put you down about it.

Stay strong, and feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk.


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