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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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savealife723 Offline
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Unhappy What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Stops Caring? )= - July 17th 2009, 12:15 AM

I have a friend and we are really close. I look up to him, and he used to be my best friend. Whenever I would selfharm, he would be there for me, and support me and get me to try to stop.
But he seemed to just stop caring, and now we barely talk anymore.
it really upsets me.
what should i do?
any advice is appreciated.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
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Re: What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Stops Caring? )= - July 17th 2009, 02:09 AM

Hi Kayla,

You are really lucky to have a friend like that who cares about you so much. Even though you may not think it right now, I'll bet he still cares and does want to help you.

Could it be that right now there is a lot going on in your friend's life that he isn't able to handle right now? There could be something stressing him out at home that he needs to take care of, or he could be out of the house a lot and isn't able to contact you and see how you are doing. Or maybe he worried that he wasn't helping you as much as you thought he was and he could think you would be able to get better help from somebody else.

I think a good thing to do would be to talk to your friend and find out what's been going on. Let him know how much you care about him and appreciated all that he did for you when you were going through some really rough times. Tell him how you feel and how you felt when he talked you through some of the bad things that were going on before.

I hope that everything goes well for you. Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk.

Nat.


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Re: What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Stops Caring? )= - July 17th 2009, 02:34 AM

I'm going through the exact same thing right now.
The only thing I really have to say is to tell him exactly how you feel.


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MadPoet Offline
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Re: What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Stops Caring? )= - July 17th 2009, 03:42 AM

Hey Kayla.
I'm sorry you've grown apart from your friend a bit in the past few weeks, that's happened to me a lot in the past as well. Everyone struggles a bit, with any kind of friendship. The good thing is that you have a friend who cares about you, and I doubt he's going to give up on the friendship you have together just like that.

He may have a lot on his mind right now. Does he have anything in his life that you know he has often struggled with? He could simply be struggling, and not have a lot of time to contribute to your friendship. In that kind of situation, you may have to be the one who needs to work hardest at holding this friendship together.

I'd talk to him about things, if he's someone that you're willing to fight to keep in your life. See what he has to say, if anything's bugging him, or what reason he has for being distant lately. I'd let him know that you want to remain friends with him, and ask him if he is willing to continue on with this friendship as well.

It takes a lot of effort in situations like these, but hopefully you guys can remain such good friends. Best of luck





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Re: What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Stops Caring? )= - July 17th 2009, 07:32 AM

Here's an encouraging thought.

When you were down and out, between a rock and a hard place, he was there to pick you up and get you back on your feet. He was there to take away some of the pain, to take the time and understand what you were going through. I imagine he did a lot for you, and that's why he's your best friend. =)

Now, it's your turn, it's your chance, to do the same thing for him. Whatever is going on in his life, be it big or small, dive on in and help him get through it. Be the shoulder for him to cry on, and hand for him to hold. Do for him what he was able to do for you.






   
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Re: What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Stops Caring? )= - July 17th 2009, 12:39 PM

I went through the same thing a few years ago with my best friend.
The way i saw it was that if you leave things for a few weeks and the gradually start getting back into his life. Send him the odd text asking how he is or does he want to hang our for a couple of hours.
I found that if i kept showing an intrest in the things my best friend was doing then they will take an intrest back.
Me and my friend are best friends again now and it really helped just dropping the odd text, email or IM.
Hope this helps and you work things out.
-Laura


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Re: What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Stops Caring? )= - July 17th 2009, 05:05 PM

I am in this situation also...try to find new friends. Trust me. you'll be glad you did...I know its hard, I know.





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Re: What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Stops Caring? )= - July 17th 2009, 07:57 PM

join the club. my friend is due to give birth any second/hour/day, and has stoped caring about me more or less overnight. i guess i need the advice tooooooo!
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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Shannon Offline
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Re: What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Stops Caring? )= - July 17th 2009, 10:44 PM

Try talking to him; ask if he's okay, if he needs to talk about something, and address the issue at hand. If he truly just doesn't care about you anymore, just move on.
   
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Re: What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Stops Caring? )= - July 20th 2009, 03:59 PM

just try talking to him. maybe somethings going on in his life right now, and he's just finding it hard to deal with. if youre still harming yourself, maybe he just gave up? sorry if thats negative... its probably just that somethings going on in his life right now. that happened to me and my best friend a few months ago. it got better. i have a feeling it will get better for you too. :]


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savealife723 Offline
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Re: What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Stops Caring? )= - July 20th 2009, 11:50 PM

Thank You Guys So Much!
I talked to Him, and He just thought that I needed time for myself.
He was actually worried about losing our friendship too.
So I'm glad I talked to him.
Thank You(:


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
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