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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

View Poll Results: What's your relationship with your father (sons/fathers)?
I hate him, he screwed me over. 2 50.00%
He's a good guy. 2 50.00%
Voters: 4. You may not vote on this poll

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Question Fathers and sons: Are they good guys or enemies? - July 17th 2009, 03:57 AM

I've just wondered what people believe. Are natural father/son relationships those of tension and difference or that of "friends." I'm kind of in an awkward position in my life. I have two fathers - my birth father and my adoptive father.

Whereas my adoptive father was a good man, there isn't a strong sense of anything. It's really like a friendship.

I hate my birth father, my worst fear is becoming him. Sometimes patricidal, yet oddly I also want him to be proud of me. I want to know how much I'm like him. He fucked up my life - basically he left me with strangers and left my Mom alone. How can I ever forgive him for that? I mean, he can say he's sorry for leaving me for dead - but, can't really change things that much. There'd still be an estranged father and son relationship.

Basically, what I'm asking is what do you think the natural father/son relationship is? It it estranged or is it friendship? A script I've read had this line, that I think may hold more true of a typical father/son relationship, but I'm unsure since I've never known my real father: “I think fathers and sons, there’s always going to be growing pains. It’s not like you can just say I love you and everything will be okay.”
   
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Re: Fathers and sons: Are they good guys or enemies? - July 18th 2009, 04:45 AM

Personally, I hate my father with a passion. I hate my mother too, but that's a different story. It doesn't help that I'm a spitting image of him, either. Both of my parents hurt me, but he was the one that usually took it out on me first. When I was little I thought it was all my fault. I thought that he hit me and called me names because I was misbehaving. I spent the first five years of my life trying to make him proud and get an " I love you" out of him. At about age 12, I started hitting them back. The odds were against me, though. My father could bench 450 lbs. in his prime. He was the physical embodiment of everything I didn't want to be. He was a gangster, he smoked, drank, did drugs, he was a rapist, etc. There are so many things that he has done, it makes me sick. We still keep this hate/hate relationship going. However, now I'm stronger than before. I can bench 250 and I'm still getting stronger. At the same time, age is taking it's toll on his body. We are still prone to random fist fights, but it's pretty even now. As much as I hate to admit it, we think alike. We even bring the same kind of weapon with us. If anything, my hate for him has grown. People are scared of me just because I'm his son. The police watch me, expecting me to mess up like everyone else that shares my last name. It insults me like no other when I'm mistaken for him. To make matters worse, I'm named after him. So yeah...there's part of my story...
   
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Re: Fathers and sons: Are they good guys or enemies? - July 20th 2009, 10:43 AM

Hey,

I know I am a girl but I have two older brothers and I know they were extremely close to my dad.

I really think it depends on what type of person the father is and what not. I also think a father son relationship is one of friendship/discipline/respect. The son knows that their father is going to be supportive of them and they can talk to them and what not but the son also knows that the father is the parent. At least that is how it was with my brothers and dad. As they have gotten older they have more of a friendship/respect for him.

But, it really does depend on the father and the type of man he is because my dad didn't get along with his father at all(he was very cruel).

I hope this helped.

~Jenna~


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