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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Name: Shanna
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Here in Louisiana

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Join Date: January 16th 2009

Unhappy An update on the friend that's never wrong (Kinda long, sorry) - January 18th 2009, 02:12 PM

I talked to my friend. She "apologized" for giving "bad" advice. She quoted that because she didn't really think it was bad. I never even said it was bad, I just said it was wrong. And I told her that. She likes to play therapist far too much. She even bragged about how many people come to her for advice and say it's never bad.
She went to my boyfriend again. My boyfriend let her talk badly about me. He said he was letting her talk, but he was thinking the exact opposite. I told him that I'd like to know that someone's going to defend me where I can't...but I guess he won't. It hurt to know that she thinks she's won my boyfriend over because he let her think so. He even said he acted like he was agreeing, giving her the benefit of the doubt. Agreeing with her talking about me? That's not even right...not to my feelings.
Then she brought up what I said about her ex telling me some things she said. The main part she was angry about was that I was talking to her ex. Just chatting. She wants NONE of her friends to talk to her ex because she thinks it's betrayal. Really, she's the one that ran him off because he saw the vicious side of her. He told me she talked badly about me. About everyone. I believed him; I know it's true. Then she was like "You've done this FOUR times already. You don't even come to me about this." One, yes I do. Two, the last time someone told me she talked about me was her ex, and I believe him over her because she's a liar. Pure and simple. She talks to make herself look good.
She said that she's tired of my excuses to snap at her. I don't even snap at her. She thinks the wrong look is an insult. I hadn't talked to her in a week and someone comes up to me saying, "____ thinks you're mad at her. Are you?" I thought that was so ridiculous. This girl said that I said something to her during the week that made her believe so. I hadn't talked to her. I'm in the dual enrollment program in my school where I take college courses plus the high school courses. I have to constantly do work, I have a job to go to because I have things to pay for...far, far too much to deal with drama, and far too much to get to talk to people often.
I listened to her problems, even at 3 in the morning, I supported her when her parents were degrading her, I stuck up for her when people were telling me how horrible of a person she is. Yet she never takes time to listen to me...I told her that. I told her she doesn't care. My mom was drunk one night, screaming at me and almost hitting me, and I called squawling my eyes out to her cousin. Her cousin called her, scared, saying that she needed to call me...and you know what she said? "This again? Oh my God, she's too sensitive about that crap." She said she'd call me in the morning when what I really needed was a friend THAT night...and she didn't even call in the morning. I should know. I waited.
I'm through with it. I'm through with someone telling me I'm not a good friend when I've done all I could. I'm through with someone trying to use me and make me get into trouble so she can get away with something. I'm just absolutely tired of being used and trashed.

Oh yeah, did I ever mention she tried to get her boyfriend to pay me to pick her up, act like I was taking her to my house, and take her to her boyfriend's?
Did I mention she wanted me to lie for her when she wanted to sneek off to her brother's house? She claimed that I've "gotten into trouble" with her parents more than her brother, so it was more normal than her brother getting caught. She wanted me to get in serious trouble so that she could get away.
I have a bad choice of friends if I actually thought this girl was a true friend.
._.
Anyway, sorry for those who took time to read this. I really needed another way to vent...I feel like here I can actually let my thoughts go and no one's going to flame me for it.


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Re: An update on the friend that's never wrong (Kinda long, sorry) - January 19th 2009, 07:58 PM

Hi there Shanna,

Don't worry about long posts! It helps to know the full situation when giving advice on these kinds of things.

It sounds like you are through with this friend of yours, and from what it sounds like, for good reason. A friendship has to go both ways, and it doesn't sound like she was being a friend. It wasn't fair of her to say mean things about you to your boyfriend. If you feel you need to, do not feel bad about going separate ways. You could try to talk to her about how you don't like how she is acting, but I think this may just cause more problems.
You are doing well for yourself with your school and your job, and you do not need her making you feel bad about yourself.
One thing that I very strongly suggest is that you talk to your boyfriend. Let him know that he gave your friend the wrong impression by 'agreeing' with her and that it didn't make you feel very good. I'm sure he'll understand, I think he just didn't know what to do in the situation.

I hope I was some help.
All the best,
Nat.
   
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Name: Shanna
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Re: An update on the friend that's never wrong (Kinda long, sorry) - January 22nd 2009, 09:47 PM

Actually, that was a lot of help. Thanks. =)


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