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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Marli Mint Offline
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My best friend. . . - July 19th 2009, 12:49 PM

I don't have a class with my best friend next year, and I don't think I could take losing her. The only contact I can have with her is AIM or going to each others houses, and that's not the same. I need her to keep myself relatively sane. She came back Fourth of July trip a week ago, and I had realized then I was a wreck without her. She told me she doesn't intend on losing me because she relies on me, and she believes it but that's something out of your control. The problem is, though, I know she's likable. She has self-esteem/confidence issues, though, and isn't all that out there. I know I'm not a good friend compared to what she could have. I'm not a good friend in general. I honestly don't understand how I manage to have friends, but they tell me I'm a good friend. She's the kind of person that anyone can get along with, and I'm afraid I'll lose her when she she's there are better people out there than me. I sound so selfish saying that I don't want her to make new friends, but it's true.
I'm sorry for posting a thread that isn't all that important, this is just bothering me to no end.
EDIT: I realized this is in the dating forum. Sorry.

Last edited by Marli Mint; July 19th 2009 at 02:49 PM.
   
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Re: My best friend. . . - July 19th 2009, 12:56 PM

Its fine ^_^

I know it can be hard losing a friend, but it happens to everyone. My best friend was my next door neighbor, but we stopped being friends in high school it just sort of happened.

Also, you'll meet new people you'll become friends with.
I mean I"m sometimes critical of other, but I still have friends.


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Re: My best friend. . . - July 19th 2009, 02:48 PM

I don't think you get what I mean, not to be rude.
I know it's normal to lose friends and to make new ones and such. It's happened to me countless times.
This is different. I honestly won't get through what i'm dealing with right now without her. I was dead to the world when she was gone for a week. I'm extremely dependent on her.
Plus, there's a 10% chance i'll make new friends. I'm going to middle school, and everyone there knows me. I've been called freak 3 times, and i've had over 10 people randomly tell me they strongly dislike me in the past few years. I don't even want to make new friends. I'd be a lot better off alone, but that's not possible.
   
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Re: My best friend. . . - July 19th 2009, 03:21 PM

I'm sorry for what you're going through, I was in a similar situation back in high school. My best friend since I was 9, decided she wanted to go to a different school. It was hard to cope with, but we talked on the phone every night, online, and saw each other every weekend, so it wasn't that bad. It gave us both something to get excited about during the week, so it always made our weeks go by a lot faster, knowing we'd see each other on the weekend. If she's really your best friend, you're not going to lose her, trust me. You two already have a bond that irreplaceable. Sure, she may make new friends, but no one is going to replace you, ever. Hang in there. <3




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Re: My best friend. . . - July 19th 2009, 04:11 PM

I only ever had one really good friend in middle school and I don't know what I would have done without him there he would always cheer me up. Then in high school we went to different high schools but I had a couple people I was already good friends with so I was ok.

I used to pick my nose and I did it into middle school so I guess I was a freak

Even in high school I've never been a person to have a lot of close friends and there were times near the end of this school year I wish I had a close friend to really count on or one I would see more often then one period every other day and the reason deals with why I joined this website I had lost someone who I would talk to every day and talk online and I became so lonely. So I can relate to your problem in a way.

During this summer on the weekdays I get up a like 5:30 and don't get home till 7:00 pm so I don't have much time for friends.

I had people who hated me and bullied me in middle school and high school I had nightmares every night for around 8 years from elementary school through middle school and I saw a psychiatrist about it.

I know people can be mean and annoying, but you just have to deal with them and sometimes people do change someone who used to bully me's SUV battery went dead and I gave him a jump and after that he was nice to me. So you just have to be nice to them even though they are mean to you I know its hard at times, but its just what you have to do.
I guess I just didn't understand what you meant thanks for clarifying.


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Last edited by Rhop101; July 19th 2009 at 04:37 PM.
   
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Re: My best friend. . . - July 19th 2009, 06:13 PM

Have you ever tried hanging out with her while she's with other friends? Perhaps you can become friends with one of her friends, or even meet new people through her friends that could become friends.

I know it's difficult to make friends, especially in middle school. I had all of two friends, but they had known each other since preschool. I had only known them for a few years. As a result, I was always the "third wheel", and felt so completely and utterly alone, even when they were right beside me.

It's not healthy to have just ONE friend, however. Your self-esteem shouldn't be dependent upon one person. Rather than trying to control an uncontrollable situation (your friend not having any classes with you this year), why not try to figure out what CAN be controlled? You can sit next to new people, try out new clubs/hobbies, go to new places around town.






   
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Re: My best friend. . . - July 19th 2009, 11:07 PM

Hello there,

I think that not having your best friend around at school would be the best opportunity to meet new people and make some new friends. It can be difficult, and it will be hard to be away from your best friend so much, but it's just something you'll need to learn how to do. Join a club, team, or activity at your school to start meeting people. If you are in a situation where there are people you don't know, then the best thing to do is to just go up to them and ask them some questions. Find out what they are interested in and what they like to do, and respond by letting them know what you like as well.

As you said before, it seems you are getting a little too dependent on your best friend. This would be your chance to change that and to open up your social circle a bit.

Just because your friend is in another class doesn't mean she will replace you. She obviously cares about you a lot, and is no doubt just as disappointed as you to not be in the same class. Try to find time to hang out with her outside of school. Maybe you could do homework after school together and then hang out, or decide to hang out every Sunday afternoon or something.

I hope that everything works out for you. If you ever need to talk, please message me any time.

Nat.


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