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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
glittermist Offline
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Name: Lisa
Age: 27
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Location: London UK.

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Join Date: January 6th 2009

Friend who messes with my head. - July 21st 2009, 02:25 PM

Well, i have this "friend", and well, we've known eachother for like 2 years now. At first she was really amazing to get along with, we shared so many interests, and then...suddenly it just felt like it was her main intention to fuck with me & my life. I made the mistake of trusting her, with all my heart; cause i'm an extremely trusting person and that's why i've been screwed over so many times. The thing is; she seemed like she would never ever hurt me.

But anyway, i told her most of my deepest secrets and stuff that was bothering me & things about my family and such. She made a promise she wouldn't tell. But she told lots of people; and suddenly people would come up to me & ask if these things were really true. It felt like the pit of my stomach was aching, with anger & all these unexplained feelings. I didn't know whether to trust her again; but i guess i did cause we grew close again and we would talk a lot about deep stuff. She was nice to me, caring, friendly, loving, all the things you could wish for in a friend. But she sort of switched every second. One minute she'd be your best friend; the one you could rely on and the next minute she'd just bitch about you and make you feel so small.

I think being friends with her sort of made me worse; made my already low self-esteem diminish even further.
I don't want to be friends with her; but part of me thinks that life is too short and we have to forget the past and move on....so i'm talking to her again.
I just want some advice, or input on what i can really do? Cause i don't have very many friends....and most of my good friends have left and i don't want to be alone in sixth form.

thanks to all who have read this, you're super amazing. <3

& it's just like she's in another world.

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
lilangel! Offline
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Name: Hannah
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Re: Friend who messes with my head. - July 21st 2009, 04:21 PM

hey Lisa

firstly, i think you should talk to this "friend" and see what shes been playing at because she doesnt sound like much of a friend to me.
its nice that you had someone you felt you could trust, but what she did is pretty unforgivable. you trusted her and she promised to keep your secrets, which was a lie.
making you feel small isnt what a friend does, she shouldnt be doing this to you, it isnt fair.
if you can forget the past and she stops her current behaviour, i dont see why you cant become friends again, but if she continues, i dont think you should be friends.
i dont have too many friends and also am worrying about being alone in 6th form. but you sound like such an awesome person i dont see how you wont make friends easily =)
just because your other friends have left, doesnt mean you have to settle for a "friend" who you cant trust. your an seem like an amazing person who doesnt deserve that.
i hope ive helped
Hannah x

"He who does not weep, does not see" - Les Miserables.

keep reaching and living your lives. you are who you are.

PM me whenever and ill do my best to help!

Im here if you ever need anyone to talk to or to have someone to listen to you
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
atelyn-kayy Offline
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Re: Friend who messes with my head. - July 21st 2009, 04:25 PM

Hey Lisa

I can imagine how frustrating this whole thing must be for you. Have you
confronted her about it? If not, tell her what's going on in your mind. Ask her
why she's been telling everyone your secrets, and let her know what you're
feeling. It seemed to me though, that the bottom line was you saying that you
feel like a lesser person now since being around her. No friend should ever
make you feel like that. If she's making you feel this way, she's not worth the time
nor the stress. You need friends that make you a better person, and by the
sounds of things, she definitely isn't one of them. You're right about life being
too short, but it's too short to have people around who treat you like this.
If you wanna talk, I'm always a PM away!
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
glittermist Offline
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Name: Lisa
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: London UK.

Posts: 861
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Friend who messes with my head. - July 21st 2009, 05:58 PM

Well the thing is i talked to her about it and she said she was truly sorry, but i still don't understand WHY she did those things. I'm not one to really confront people about stuff so that was a huge deal for me. Anyway, things have been so awkward since and we don't do much together, like hang out. We would hang out A LOT before! I basically relied on her tbh. It just seems like our whole friendship was worthless and i know i shouldn't want to be friends with her after everything but part of me does....i guess i'm just going to see how things go and if she turns back into her old ways then i will truthfully give up.

Thank you guys for replying x

& it's just like she's in another world.

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