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thrale04 Offline
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Exclamation Am I worth it? - July 23rd 2009, 02:56 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

so recently my best friend and her boyfriend broke up, hes a bad guy and i encouraged her to get over him. then she starts ignoring my texts and shes too busy to hang out with me, i know she was avoiding me and i know why: they got back together. I know this because we live in the same building and one night my BF and i were going to a movie and we walked out and i ran into her "ex" he was all awkward so i know he knows i dont approve.

oh before that her and i went to a psychic and she told me to be careful and use protection cause she sees a life changing event coming. after that is when she was avoiding me. one time i even texted her to ask if her work is hiring she told me dont get a job there, so on and so forth, then we went on to have a conversation. after i asked so we should hang out soon she said who is this? i was so hurt and offended and after i saw her boyfriend i was equally mad that she thought of me as that bad of a person.

anyways before i ran into her ex i was late on my period and asked her to come with me to get a test, i told my boyfriend that i wanted to go alone or with a friend to gather my thoughts. she said she was too bust and hanging out with people. (i thought it was weird that she didnt offer another time to go with me like a real friend would) so i called my other best friend who lives about 2 hours away and she said if i wanted to wait until tomorrow she'd call in sick from work and not go to a party just to go with me. i told her just staying on the phone would be fine. so i then get the test and i take it with my boyfriend. the test came back positive. iw as freaking out, im only 18. so after a few days we decided to keep it. i tried to tell morgan (my mean friend) that by saying i have exciting news, she said what is it, and i replied id like to tell you in person, she responded with im too busy. when i was like kay when are you not busy she was like im working doubles all week. no sorry nothing.

so then about 3 weeks later i wake up in the middle of the night with terrible cramps, i have never had these with a period before and i went to the bathroom i was bleeding extremely heavy, so the next day i went to the hospital stayed there for 8 hours, was told i had a threatened miscarriage (meaning i had a 50 50 percent chance of carrying to term) my cervix was still closed so that was good. i then wa told to go back the next day. only for the ultrasound to find nothing. i had lost the baby. i was super upset over it, i cried when my boyfriend wasnt home all the time. im still depressed about it, on and off, im staying strong for him in front of him, but it kills me to think that i cant even save my baby.

its about 3 weeks later and tomorrow is her birthday. being a good person i texted her and told her happy birthday and i hope we can put this shit past us, we had a tiny conversation with like 3 word answers i want so badly for someone to talk to. but if we do become friends again can i trust her with this? can i tell her how depressed again and know shes not judging me?
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Re: Am I worth it? - July 23rd 2009, 03:14 AM

okay. you are worth it. Everybody is worth living and being happy. You can be the bigger person and talk to her about it.Tell her how you feel. if she cares she will understand if not then she is not worthy.

You can PM me anytime -Ashley <3

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grief, lying, miscarriage, trust issuses, worth

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