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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Hear my whispers in the dark..
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Name: Jen
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Arkansas

Posts: 221
Join Date: January 16th 2009

My brother... - July 25th 2009, 01:05 AM

So, my brother is 24, and he lives at home with me and my parents. He's had alot of trouble in the past with drugs, alcohol, and mental illnesses. He's been in the psych ward a few times, and he served time in jail and in a residential facility for building a bomb to blow up his teacher. We thought he was doing better (he's on medication, and he's engaged), but he's been in a downward spiral lately. He's been stealing money from my parents to the point where we're completely broke (he steals hundreds of dollars at a time--cash and through credit cards), lying about where he's going (saying him and his fiance are spending the weekend with her sister because she is depressed about her recent abortion, but they wound up staying at hotels and resorts instead, both close to home and out of state), and he abuses his medication. Last night he was popping pills while we were at a movie, and he was telling me about how he basically has his psychiatrist and doctors wrapped around his finger. He went to the doctor for a cold, and they gave him 20 painkillers which he took in a very short time to get high. He said that his psych gives him all the medicine he wants, and he's going to have his psych switch him from Valium to Ativan, because his body is used to the Valium so he can't get high off of it anymore. He also drinks and does other drugs. Then tonight, I was literally 6 feet away from him watching tv, and he was downloading porn (which is against my parents rules, and even if it wasn't he shouldn't have been doing it while I was right there! I don't think he thought I was watching him, but it was kind of obvious).
So, I don't know what to do. My parents don't know about what he told me about his pills, and they don't know about the porn. I don't know if I should tell them or not, or even what I would say. I hate to rat out my brother, because if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn't want him to say anything, but still. I don't want him to destroy himself either, and have to be a silent witness to it.
So I don't know what I should do...

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My brother... - July 26th 2009, 11:54 PM

Hi Jen,

If you tell your parents anything it should be to stop giving your brother money. No matter what he says, or how many times he asks, tell them not to give him a cent. Also, if he is stealing cash or credit cards, tell them to hide their money or to keep it on them at all times. It's important that your brother does not get any more financial assistance from your parents. Since he is engaged, he needs to learn how to shape up and take care of himself.

Do you have a good relationship with your brother? I understand that he openly talked to you about his drug use and that he isn't hiding it from you. That shows that he does trust you. I think you should try to talk to him yourself before getting your parents involved. Let him know that he is destroying his body by taking all of those substances and he is going to really hurt himself. Tell him that you are worried and you're saying it because you really care about him and you don't want anything bad to happen. It might be a good idea to warn your brother that you will tell your parents if he doesn't make a conscious effort to stop taking the drugs.

If he doesn't stop, then I think it is important that you talk to your parents about your brother's drug use. See if there is anything they can do to help him, or any way he could get into rehab for it. He is endangering himself by abusing drugs like this, and he really needs to stop.

As for the porn, I think you should let it slide. Even if your parents don't agree with it, it is normal for people to watch it.

Take care.


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