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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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blackknight6 Offline
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The Bff?!?! I need some answers!!! PLZ - July 27th 2009, 04:22 AM

Ok, I am not entirely sure where this topic fits in the breakdown of the forums, but after thinking about it for a while I think this is the right place. Ok, I'm gay first of all, seventeen and a guy, and this, I think, plays a factor in everything going on right now. In an attempt to hold some privacy, I am going to use the Phenetic alphabet to replace the names of the people involved so that I can respect them and my privacy for now.
The situation is this:
First I meet this guy whom we'll call Beta. Now Beta is friends with this guy I have a crush on, but slowly we hang out some and we become friends. Months pass and we grow really tight together, he knows full well about my sexuality and he knows that I have a crush on our mutual friend whom we'll call Sierra. Now Beta suddenly falls for this girl whom was a slut for a long time, and I had separated myself from because of her carnal nature and lusty lifestyle whom we'll call "Charlie".
Charlie, knowing full well that I was gay and also knowing the secret of mine that I had a crush on Beta as well, went out with Beta for 8 months, during which time, she did everything in her power to reiterate that I could never have any of my crushes, Beta especially, she had me nearly uninvited to Beta's 18th bday party which I planned and she convinced Beta that I was this sick deranged lunatic who always talks shit.
Beta's relationship crumbled with Charlie due to her intense home life and constant demands of him which he simply couldn't meet (in fact no human being could, as she was one of those crazed Edward lovers of twilight).
Beta came back to me, seeking my advice after long apologies from both ends, of course, the both of us being aware that I still like him.
The next things that happened were the culmination of the best month of my life, Beta and I hung out everyday and we always went up to my work at the corner ice cream shop. The two of us were inseperable until this girl came along named Steph (dont care for her privacy) and I am fully aware that she is cheating on him, but afraid of being called jealous, I hesitated saying anything to him. He found out and is in the midst of breaking it off with her. I still feel some strain though.

My problem is this:
I, having had feelings for him for little over a year now, I love him like a borther that I never had the pleasure of knowing. MY whole world revolves around him, I want to be the best friend he ever had, but I want him to feel that same way as far as wanting to be my friend. I really want him to recognize my effort. I've spent literally over a thousand dollars on him in the form of spontaneous gifts and surprising him with ice cream at his shitty job as a waiter. I could care less about the money, but my time and my love is priceless in my eyes, as is his. I get jealous when I see that other people are ahead of me in his phone and stuff and I know that that is childish and down right bitch like, but i'm still human and am subject to feeling that way because its our nature. We don't hardly hang out anymore like we used to and I want things to be as they were or better. What can I do to be the best friend that anyone could ever ask for? What can I do to become the best friend in his eyes? I dont want in his pants, I never have, I've only wanted to know that I was loved back the same way I love him and that I can rely on someone as he can rely on me.
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glittermist Offline
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Re: The Bff?!?! I need some answers!!! PLZ - July 27th 2009, 02:53 PM

Hey There!
Wow, that was one awfully lengthy post but i managed to read it all =]
Well; the thing is - some people have a hard time showing their appreciation towards other people, and it can come across as selfish and as if they don't respect or love you but in actual fact THEY do but just don't know how to show that affection. I honestly believe he respects and loves you as a friend but perhaps he is one of those types of people that doesn't like to really devote their time to just one person? I don't mean to be harsh or rude but a lot of people find that difficult.

I think what you've said here, could go in a letter; and then you can give it to him or post it to him. That way he can know exactly HOW you feel without there being any awkward silences like there would be in a face-to-face confrontation. Of course you're going to see eachother AFTER the letter but i mean; with a letter there is time for him to absorb what you've written and so he can collect his thoughts together. If you catch my drift.

Good luck =]

& it's just like she's in another world.

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answers, bff, plz

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